The Fanatical
by ToryWorld
Summary: Kara didn’t imagine that at her next meeting with Barry, she would see him on his knees. When love dies, when hope dries up, some people find their source in faith. But is it always the right path, or is it a sign of a much deeper problem ?
1. The Fanatical

**Hi everyone! So this is my first fic in another language! We really miss Karry fanfic, and because french ain't read by anyone, I decided to write one in english ! So you'll surely find a lot of mistake since I'm far to be a great english speaker and that this fic is not beta-read, but I really hope you'll enyoy it ! Please be sure to leave a review, and let me know if you would be interested in a sequel, maybe for a two-shot. I take criticism as well, it allows me to improve my writing ! Enjoy ! **

_Disclaimer : I don't own nothing_

_**The Fanatical**_

Taking a deep breath, Kara entered in the dark room with a few lights emanating from melted candles. She walked slowly, deviating the rows of seats strewn throughout the room. In this religious setting, Kara's attention was drawn to something she knew well. The symbol of a lost God, the Sun god Rao, was dominating the whole room. He was nestled in the middle of the central wall, upstream of a pedestal and surrounded by ragged dull curtains.

"It's pretty creepy." Whispered Winn. Kara frowne, it was definitely not the image that Rao was supposed to send back. No matter what was practiced in this room, it was perverted.

She greeted the emblem discreetly, as if she swore to save him. Quiet murmurs came from both sides of the room, when a young girl interrupted Kara's thoughts.

"I've never seen you here before," She remarked. "Are you new to us?"

Kara struggled to remove her frown and tried an innocent smile. "Yes we are, can you explain us what... you're doing during these meetings ?"

The girl had a satisfied smile and somehow, she had an air of confidence.

"It's more powerful if you see it by yourself. What we're doing here ... there are no words to describe it. My first time had transformed me, I guarantee that it will be the same for you."

Kara blew her nose. "Can't wait."

The girl smiled sincerely and then walked away. After a few minutes, Kara, Winn and James took their places and candles were blown to darken the room. A tired-looking, aged-looking man joined the pedestal and began to speak. Kara's thoughts were confirmed; her religion was spread on Earth. The man preached with breathtaking conviction Rao's words, his strength of heart and his kindness in a way that her mother would never have, but for reasons that she couldn't explain, the man was convincing people of how Rao send Supergirl to humanity to guide them.

He smiled religiously while starting a prayer that Kara had heard many times during her youth. Her mother had repeated it over and over again, with such love and passion that Kara considered it as a lullaby. Her eyes shone brightly until she remembered that she was no longer on Krypton, and that those words did not have the same meaning for these fanatics as for her.

"What are they doing exactly?" James asked Kara. But she didn't answer, preferring to analyzing the ceremony. The faithful were tenderly repeating the prayer and seemed hypnotized, and even if Kara would not admit it, she was quite proud to see these people loving Rao as much as she did.

The elderly man finished his prayer, and called a young man near him. His steps were slow, and when the boy finally showed up on the pedestal, Kara was hit by a face she did not expect to see.

"Barry?" She whispered.

Those green eyes, that look, that jaw ... that man looked exactly like her Barry from Earth-1, and as he stood up she wondered what could be the reason of his presence in that sordid place.

The young man sighed, seeming to be searching for his words, not knowing exactly what to say. His eyes were shining, but he finally spoke under the encouragement of the preacher. "Don't be shy !" He patted him on the back.

_**Though we go fourth alone**_

"Good evening everybody. My name is Barry and .. I ... Where can I start?" He chuckled. "I spent my whole life looking for answers. When I was young, something horrible happened in front of my eyes, something that I could never forget. Something that no one in the world would be able to explain. I must say that I still can't explain it myself." He smiled sadly, his eyes getting wet moistened so he looked his feet to hide them.

"This extraordinary thing ... also cost me my mother. And ever since, no one wanted to believe me. People continually said over and again that I was lying or that it was my child's imagination. I lived a life totally misunderstood, and it felt like a weight constantly weighing on my shoulders."

Kara looked at him and felt her heart tighten. She had already heard this story, and she wanted to take him in her arms, tell him that he would soon have all the answer to his questions, but she couldn't.

"Anyway, I guess we can just say that I'm an unlucky man huh?" He said, trying to calm down. At that moment, his eyes met Kara's and she felt something shatter inside her. Seeing (a version of ?) her friend so vulnerable annihilated her heart and she doubted she could look at Barry in the same way ever again. He sniffled, looked away from Kara and continued. "And then Supergirl showed up. I was there so many times that I couldn't even tell all the time she saved me. But deep down, when I think about it, it doesn't even matter. I had finally the impossible in front of my eyes, someone extraordinary, someone that everyone could see or even touch. And gradually, as I saw her flying, stooping bullet and carrying cars in her hands like if it was nothing, I felt this unbearable weight on my heart subside. I felt like I could breath again ! Just see someone and say, "Hey, I'm not crazy, you saw her too, right ?", without fearing the answer. And I know, that this woman, this God is the only person that in the right time, could've prevented my mother to die." Barry was crying now, his eyes were stained with tears and his face was red desfigured. Meanwhile, Kara could have sworn he was still giving her a few quiet looks. "So that's all I need"

The young man's voice broke as he murmured: "I was lucky enough to look into the eyes of God, and all the suffering of a lifetime vanished with a single glance." He shouted, as if he attested a miracle. "Supergirl saved me!"

Applause and tears sounded in the hall as the frail young man returned to his seat, thanking shyly his audience.

_**Our soul unites us under Rao's gladsome rays. We are never lost, never afraid**._

"What is Barry doing here?" James quietly asked Winn while clapping Barry to melt into the crowd.

Kara answered before Winn had the opportunity to do so. "That Barry isn't the Barry we know. Barry, the Barry I know, has a lot of self-esteem, he's The Flash for god sake ! He knows that he has nothing to envy to Supergirl, and he knows for a fact that I'm not a God. This Barry just looks ... broken. " Kara murmured softly, a trace of bitterness in her voice.

"Are you sure about that ?"

She loved Barry so much, and even though she didn't know him as much as she would like to, she knew that the lightning had changed Barry drastically. He had gone from the shy, nerdy and misunderstood guy to a self-confident, happy and hopeful man. These qualities seemed to fail him as she watched him venerate her as a God. That's why she knew, that she was sure it wasn't the Barry she had met for the first time three years ago. He was still gnawed by guilt and unanswered questions, but mostly by ghosts and a life he didn't know what to do with. He needed a purpose, a reason to live for and because he didn't become The Flash yet, he had found this comfort in her person. That must have been that, that Barry must be from Earth-38. What else could it be?

Re-adjusting her glasses, she frowned. "Let's find out."

o•o•o

A few minutes later, as the room emptied, Kara let Winn and James go at their home as she followed Barry from distance. But as she was flying, she realized that she didn't know exactly what she was going to do. Maybe she would just follow him to investigate ? Or she should try to contact him as Supergirl, maybe even as Kara Danvers !

Feeling the wind blowing against her skin as she floated in the sky, Kara let herself be led by the air like a drifting boat, letting her super-hearring focus on Barry's paths. She'll decide at the right moment. Actually, he didn't even speak, so Kara did not care. She stayed in the sky, waiting for maybe one hour or two. As she was starting to think that she shouldn't have done that, she heard his voice shouting her name into the void.

She approached a reasonable distance from the source of the noises and saw him. He stood on the roof of a building and shouted loudly her name, trying to improve his voice by forming a megaphone with his two joined hands in front of his mouth.

"Supeeergirl" He cried again, desperate. His face faded as he noticed Kara floated in front of him.

**_For we shrink not under the Sun of _righteousness**

"Hey Scarlet Speedster!" She said, hopping that he would recognize the nickname. "Is everything okay?"

"I ... well .." He stuttered. "I can't believe it's really you."

"Well, if you call me where would you like me to be ?" Kara laughed shyly. He didn't recognize the nickname. "Anyway, what's the problem, are you all right?"

"Hum yeah .. I guess And ... Scarlet Speedster? Why?" He asked, scratching his neck.

"Nevermind, why did you call me?" She grew impatient, even though she was having fun with the coincidence.

"Why were you following me ? should be the right question." He replied. Not the answer she expected at all. He turned his back to her staggering. "Staying at distance doesn't mean I can't see you. Especially when you're floating alone 30 meters above the ground."

She hid a chuckle with her hand. "I knew I should've move a little further and use my X-ray vision."

"Wouldn't that make you a bit of a pervert ?" He asked teasingly.

"Well, stalking you by listening was already making me a pervert so ..." She smiled.

_**Rao binds us to those we love**_

He responded to her smile by another and then turned back serious, his face getting darker.

"I guess it's about meetings, isn't it ? I saw you were not very comfortable in that room." He looked down, ashamed.

"How did you ..."

"Glasses? A terrible disguise." He chuckled timidly.

"Oh !" Is all Kara said.

He once again scratched his neck. "So ... Am I right?"

"Yes, you're right. I guess I just needed to know ... why ?"

"You were in the room, you know what pushed me to come to you."

"Barry.. you should know that I'm not a God, Rao is."

"No, don't start telling me that you're not a God, I've seen what you've done before, and what you're capable of ! You and I both know your powers are far greater than any alien or meta-humans that had ever walked on Earth combined. I was lost before you show me that there is another life. One of hope ! This is why I know you're a God, even though you may noy realize it yet ! You are not only endowed with extraordinary power, you are also showing us all the right way !"

_**He gives us strength when we have none,**_

Kara frowned. "It's not what makes me a God, Barry, it's just what makes me a hero ! You know, I'd be lying if I told you I'm not flattered by what you believe in, and I'd be lying to myself if I deny that deep down I don't desire it. But... I... just give me your hand."

Without asking any question but being curious, he offered her his wrist, eager to know what she was going to do. She put the man's hand on her neck.

"Do you feel that ?" She asked. "That's my pulse. That means that under my chest, there is a heart beating. This heart is constantly beating to provide a blood supply of oxygen and nutrients to my body."

"And so, what's the point ?"

"It means, that just like you are, I am nothing but meat and bones." She released his hand.

Kara turned her back to him and moistened her lips, played with her hands hesitantly after finally saying in a low voice almost like a whisper :

"You asked me why I called you Scarlet Speedster..." He raised his head, suddenly puzzled.

**And in the darkest places, he guides us**

"Have you ever heard of the theory that says that there are multiple worlds ? That in these worlds, there would be different versions of us ? Well, I actually met you once, on a different world."

"Another me, huh !" He looked at her, credulous and smiling, as if he thought she was delusional.

"I know, it's disturbing !" She approached slowly as if he were about to fly away at any moment. If she wanted to convince him, her priority was not to rush him. "I can't tell you how, or why, but I know you are destined for great things. My friend from another earth, he also experienced an extraordinary catastrophe when he was young. The death of a mother by a yellow strike, a father wrongly accused and a young boy left for orphan ? The crual world stole his innocence too."

**_For Rao sees all, feels all,_**

"Your "friend" told you that ? How could there be another me ? That's impossible !"

"Multiverse has its reason that the reason doesn't know." She raised her arms in a comical way. "The truth is that I don't know why you still don't got the answers you're looking for yet, but believe me, you'll get them. And when you'll do, you'll see that you too are destined to be extraordinary."

"I can't believe I'm starting to consider the multiverse as a thing but... what if everything that was supposed to make me extraordinary already happened to me ? I mean, how am I supposed to be extraordinary when I feel so broken, so lost and so useless ? A lot of things happened in my life, but it didn't change anything ! If as you says, your friends had the same experiences that I did, what makes you say that he's now fine ?"

She responded to his defiant air by lightness, seeming to be plunging into her thoughts. "Because you can see it on his face. He had the answers he was looking for, and now he's just that smiling guy, always making jokes and laughing... I must confess that he's so awesome that I even had a crush on him." She chuckled shyly while her eyes were getting lost in the sky. "When I was next to him, everything just felt.. trivial, and simple. Just like he is."

**_His love is eternal_**

He blew, seeming almost jealous but mainly envious. "Your friend sounds pretty awesome."

"He is ! Like I said I can't tell you how, or why. But a great change is coming for you, it's your destiny. So please, don't stay in the darkness by praying me, because one day soon your own light will emerge. It maybe not look like it now, but one day you'll smile sincerely again too. And believe me, it'll be magnificent." She patted him on the back with a friendly smile.

His eyes darkened, and he whispered :

"They say that the greatest masks reside in a smile."

She watched him amicably, wanting to assure him that her Barry was now better. But after all, could she? Maybe Barry wasn't as free as he seemed, and that it all depended on a well-crafted mask.

"In that case, I have enough hope to say that when he smiles, he is sincere. And while I didn't know him before, I know that he was lost just as you are now. He found something to hold on by focusing on his mother's murderer... and venerating me somehow gave you something to hold on too. So tell me, what makes you so different ?"

"It may not look like it now that you're confronting me about my past, but since I'm in the light of Rao and yours, I feel so much better too !"

Barry's high voice contrasted with Kara's calm voice. "No, you're not. You lock yourself into the misconception that there is someone in the world who can solve all of your problems with a single snap if she wanted to. I can't. I am not God, Rao is."

Barry's voice harmonized with Kara's as he replied in a calm but tearing tone. "You think so ? Rao has never done anything to me. Even though I don't doubt of his existence, the only thing that I'm sure he ever did was sending you to Earth. That's all, you are the only miracle I have seen so far !"

**_Rao protect us so that we might protect others !_**

He approached the edge of the roof, tears streaming down his cheeks as he sobbed. "If I hadn't met you before I would have jumped from this building a year ago already. So please, if you want to repeat me that you're not a God, go ahead. It would mean that I have nothing left to lose."

Kara's legs began to tremble at his statement. Her mouth felt dry, and she missed the words. She drew deep inside her to gain some insurance and flew in front of him, floating above the void.

"I won't lie to you. It is the truth, I am not God, just as I can't solve every problem in the world." She swallowed her saliva. "If you decide to jump, I won't stop you. All I'm asking you is to think before you do." It was her poker card, the last solution she could find. She did not know if she could let him commit suicide, but she had to try.

"And to think of what ?" He made fun of her. "Think about the fear that I have to die or the pain I could feel?"

"It's a great thing to be afraid. It means you still have something to lose." She encouraged him.

"What could I lose huh ? Who am I without you ? I have nothing left."

She shrugged. "You have me ? Maybe not as a God, but as a friend. And if you let me in, I promise, I will help you." She offered him her hand.

He was preparing to replie, but as a breath of pain escaped his mouth he felt like a little boy who had just been stretched out. "... Promise ?" He asked like an afraid child.

**_And we shall rise,_**

"Pinky swear ?" She smiled weakly, turning her offered hand in an holded little finger.

"Pinky swear." He repeated and then crossed his finger with hers.

He watched her sit beside him, her legs swinging in the void beside his. "Now, tell me, what happened one year ago ? What pushed you to consider committing a suicide?" He hold his breath, gauging if he could reveal this information.

"I... A year and a half ago, my girlfriend was murdered."

"Iris ? Barry I'm so sorry... What happened?"

"A guy killed her in the street, we realized that it was premeditated for a long time ago... Sorry I just- I don't like to talk about it I'm sorry..."

"No that's okay." She waved her hand as if to sweep the idea. "May I ask... did it contribute you to turn to worship?" She looked down, ashamed to ask.

"Essentially yes. I think that as you said, when I met you three years ago, you were like an answer to my questions. Someone more extraordinary than the yellow strike that killed mom. And then, I rejected this idea, until Iris's death. This is when I start to join the cult. It was nice to think that somewhere, someone could have prevented that from happening ... I get it, you're not a god. But.. damn, it just can be so comforting." A solitary tear rested at the corner of his eye.

**_A fire in his hearth_**

Kara's head rested on his shoulder. "I know..."

They rested on this position for thirty minutes, without talking, simply taking advantage of each other's presence. It was just good to enjoy the peace and the view. But as she yawned, a police siren sounded in their ears. Kara got up, and Barry looked at her as if his salvation board was about to slip through his fingers.

She noticed his peeved look and asked for his phone. "My friends call me Kara." She chirped, handing him the phone with "Kara D" written on a contact name. "If you think that can help you, I'd be more than happy to share Rao's true words with you."

He greeted her. "I'd like that." He smiled. "You have to go."

As she was already flying, she turned her head one last time and shouted a "Goodbye !" with joy.

He watched her go far away, knowing he would have his support now. Nevertheless, that may not have been the way he would have liked it to happen. He would've liked to keep his beliefs secret, and that Kara never perceives his weakness. Barry took one last look around to make sure the woman was gone.

"**Burning, and free**." He whispered in a low voice.

In the distance, Kara, who was still observing him, with her X-ray vision this time, saw a scarlet light zoom and get lost in a nimbus of blue light.

After all, Barry had made it clear that he had no doppelganger on Earth-38.

**The end** (?)

**SO, how was it ? I've got this idea in my head since a long time now, and because of my studies I wrote in in like two week I guess ahah. At first, it was supposed to be earth-1 Barry since the begging, but I really hesitated at the end, tell me if I was right to do it that way ! Also, in the future I am looking for a bêta-reader in case I make a sequel or another OS ! Also, I wrote a Karry fanfic in french titled "La fille d'acier" but due to poor returns in terms of review I abandoned it, ****it totally discouraged me ahah ! So if you're interested by translate it, I'll be more than happy to keep going on this one. Google translate the whole thing and put in in form, it ain't that hard ! :P DM me if interested? Anyway, thanks a lot, I hope you enjoy it and please, let me your point of view on it ! **


	2. Chapter 2

**SO ! This is it ! I've finally made it guys ! This story will finally be a 3-shot ahah, I know it started being a one-shot but I have so many ideas... Sorry, lol. Next one will be the last, I promise ! So please enjoy, and let me your view on this chapter ? And before you go, I'm reminding you that I'm not an english grounder and that I'm far away to be a great speaker, so please try to don't mind the mistakes (because there's sure will be) Enjoy !**

**The Fanatical : Chapter 2**

Somewhere, out of sight, Barry was sat on a bench. He had his back bent forward and his hands against his forehead. He pounded his hands hard against his head as he whispered words that mingled with the sound of the wind. "What have I done ... what have I done?" It was raining, and the sky, reflecting how he felt inside, was a cloudy gray. "What have I done ?"

He looked up at the sky that seemed almost mocking him, looking for an answer as the raindrops plunged in his hair and the drizzle caressed his skin. "What was I thinking ?"

His gaze fell on his hands, reddened but so cold. After a few minutes, he decided to go home. Not using his speed, not running. No, he had decided to walk like any normal being, even if anyone would have run under this rain. It felt like a punishment for lying.

When he thinks about it, he feels guilty. He was caught on the spot, and rather than assume his beliefs he had chosen the path of cowardness. And he made a promise to Kara, a promise he was not sure he could keep.

His feet slammed into the puddles one last time as he stood in front of the building. He took a deep breath and went up to the apartment. A screaming silence pierced his tympanum, like every day since Iris's death. The emptiness of the room was screaming to him : "Don't forget".

He could hear that table which around they spoke so often, crying "She's gone".

That sofa, on which they had snuggled, scolded him : "you were so happy".

The wardrobe, in which was his suit, seemed like it asked him "What's even the point ?"

But nestled on the wall, among this silent slaughter, rested the clock, of which three thousand six hundred times an hour, the Second whispered : Remember!

Remember, when he planted his blade on her flesh. Remember, running to save her, unable to do anything. Remember, catching her body at the very same moment he removed his weapon, leaving a horrible mark on her chest. Remember all those deaths for which you are responsible. But above it all, remember how powerless you are. Now it's too late, she's gone !

He did his best to ignores them, as he did every single day. Maybe if he focused more on silence, he would end up not hearing them anymore. At least, that's what he hoped. He went for the only solution he knew could appease those voices. He lit a solitary candle, which he placed in front of him. And he prayed. "_Though we go fourth alone, our soul unites undrr Rao's gladsome rays..."_

Sitting there, praying, reaffirming his faith in Rao, and in Supergirl, he felt the ghosts of Iris, his mother, his father, and all of those he had lost kneel beside him and praying. But most of all, he felt a feeling of peace filling his heart.

~o~o~o~

A few strokes sounded at the door. Barry slowly opened it, and has been surprised when his vision blurred and that he felt tingling on his cheek. He took a slap. A great slap.

"I know everything." Kara stood in the doorway with shiny eyes. "You're lucky that I didn't take your jaw off, because right now, I really want to". She extended her hand to get him up while he didn't even notice he had fallen.

"Kara, I can explain." He assured while recoiled and put both his hands in front of him to protect himself.

"No, I'm done with excuses." She fumbled in her bag and took out two bottles containing an amber colored liquid. "I think that might help." She dragged Barry to the couch and they sat down.

She holded him a bottle. "Drink this." He suddenly panicked, afraid that she decided to poison him. He gulped, took a dose of courage and asked her :

"What if I don't ?"

"You will." She assured. At his livid face, she finally chuckled, relaxing the atmosphere : "C'mon, it's not going to kill you, it's just alien alcohol."

He looked at her and smiled shyly before taking a sip. "Is it good ?" She asked.

"Hm-hmm"

"You recognize the taste?"

"Tastes like... donuts ?"

"Of course."

She silently paused and took a sip in her own bottle. "Be careful, it goes really fast to the head."

He nodded and took another sip. "I guess you want to talk about it ?"

"Let's wait until we're halfway through the bottle."

So that's what they did. They remained face to face, not saying a word. Their eyes were enough to say all they needed. And yet, despite the atmosphere so tense that it could have been cut like butter, Barry wasn't tormented. The inexhaustible seconds of the clock no longer shouted at him to remember. The table seemed far away, and the couch on which they were sitting was now singing to him "So what now?". His ideas were no longer clear when foreign alcohol was acting on his system. He looked at her bottle, it was almost empty.

"I think we're both drunk enough to start talking" said Barry. Kara smiled happily, showing that alcohol was already starting to work.

"Let's do that dude." She shouted while putting her bottle on the coffee table and rubbing her thighs.

"So how did you know that was me ?"

"Let's just say you're not a very discreet guy." She laughed at his questioning raised eyebrow. "I saw you running right after I left you, you dumbass ! I moved a little further and used my X-rays vision as you advised me." She smiles victoriously.

"Wow chief, I'm impressed." Thank god alcohol made it feels a little less awkward.

As Barry laughed and didn't pay attention, Kara pulled an elastic band from her hair. Closing one eye and slightly tugging, she sent it straight into Barry's head with an expert hand.

"Wwhhy ? That was painful !" He complained.

"You deserved it !" She burst out laughing.

They both laughed for a good five minutes before a silence settled again. They didn't know what to say because they both knew it was time to be serious. Barry was the first to come out of silence.

"... By deciding to become Supergirl, you followed your cousin's footsteps and trained hard..." His voice contrasted with the silence so it surprised Kara. "...Until you become so strong, that you managed to beat him in a singular fight. That's wonderful, exceptional !"

Kara was intrigued because now, he looked sad. "I guess.. ?"

"But what if... what if you had never demonstrated the least ability to save others and that you were only failing at your task... but that people were repeating to you again and again that someone with such powers, must be a super-hero... If people had repeated you those words your whole life... Tell me, would have you choose the same path ?"

She hid a chuckle. "I'm not drunk enough to answer that question."

"But what if ?" Insisted Barry.

She expired a long time. "Hmmmmm I dunno... Certainly, it's in my nature to help others."

"But what if you realized that you were doing more harm than good ?"

"What are you trying to telling me Barry ? We all made mistakes. You, me, Oliver. We're not all powerful, we have all lost loved ones. I... I think I get it. You considered me as a god because it was easier for you to believe in me than to believe in yourself. Let's skip the part where you tells me that I'm wrong, I know it. As I know that no matter what I say, you'll continue to think that I'm a god... just let me tell you that you don't have to blame yourself for Iris's death."

He avoided her look, because it seemed that she could read in him as in an open book.

"Do you know how much it makes me feel ashamed to pray my best friend every night? To having her in front of me and trying to explain her why I do what I do? It's humiliating, but it's like that. You are a God, Kara, whatever you like it or not. And I do my best to take a little bit of this light that shines in you, but whatever I do, I see it well..." Kara cut him.

"What I think, Barry, is that you're having a mental breakdown. If half of what you said to me on my Earth was true, then Iris is dead. And you're trying to keep the pieces together but Barry, it doesn't have to be that way. Let. me. help you."

"That's where you wrong Kara ! Nobody has suffered as much as I did in my life ! And yet, where everybody else would already have cleaned their ears with a gun, everything I did was to turn to religion! Is it so bad?" He shouted.

Kara's heart broke as she watched him explode. He was crying now. Tears also rose to her eyes, and she approached him gently, trembling, wanting to calm him down.

"I know how strong you are Barry, but you're not okay..." Barry shouted at her immediately.

"NO, no you don't know anything ! You've never been through what I did ! Perfect pretty Kara always had a gentle life ! Some people didn't. I didn't !

I watched my mother dying in front of me TWICE ! My father, Iris, all of them are gone and that's because of me ! You can't understand that because you are one of these person born under a shiny star and to whom everything is successful ! A-a spoiled of life, and that... it does not give you the right to inflict me your point of view !" His eyes were filled with anger and if Kara could admit it, she was a little bit scared, but also mad. "And I'm not taking advices from the coward who refuses to accept who she is !" He wanted to take his words back at the very moment he said them, but he couldn't. He wiped his tears with the back of his hand, looked at the door and murmured with a broken whisper. "Please... just go."

Kara looked at him for a few seconds, subdued.

She didn't find the strength to answer him, so she slipped the shoulder strap of her bag over her shoulder and went to the door. Halfway, her hand already on the handle, she paused. She closed her eyes, not bothering to turn around.

"The ground began to shake as if a thousand earthquakes were occurring at once."

Barry wiped his tear as he turned to her. "What ?"

"I heard my planet growling in agony. I saw my parents sacrificing the last moments of their lives to save mine when they put me on that pod. And from space I heard billions of screams tearing appart into the dark as my planet was burning. And that was just the beginning of what happened to me..."

He stood up and moved closer to her. "Kara I'm sorry, I didn't mean it..."

"How... how dare assume that I had a perfect life ? When I've lost just as much than you, if no more."

"I...I'm sorry Kara. I was so mad I didn't think about what I said. I know what you've been through. I apologize." She pushed back the hug he was about to give her.

"No.. no don't.. don't touch me okay ? You've done enough."

She gave him a disappointed look, not angry but still. Barry tried to call her one more time but it was too late. She had already created a breach with Cisco's device and crossed it. The young man slipped in front of a mirror. "What have you done Barry ?"

**So, how was it ? Idk about this chapter, I think like it was kinda bad due to the fact that I erased what I started because I didn't liked it and write this one in less than 24, which is tremendous for me, the slow writer ahah. Anyway please be sure to leave me any critical comment, good or bad I'll take it ! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yass, chapter 3 is out ! It is a bit longer than the previous one, but I hope you'll enjoyer it as well ! This story take a new turn, but don't think that she became predictable ahah, I try my best to do it as original as I can. I know how the story is going and got all of it in my head, even the end. All I have to do is to write it, and if I do it as cool as I see it in my head, let me tell you guys that you aren't ready lol. So as usual, don't mind the bunch of mistake that you will find on that chapter. I'm french and so not a grounder. These chapters are pretty much the only occasion that I have to exercise my english by the way, and I only start learning it since about 2 years so... yeah. Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy that new chapter ! Please leave me your opinion and tell me what you liked or didn't ! **

The Fanatical, chapter 3.

"Open the door Kara." Barry knocked once more at the door. "I know you're in there." He knocked even harder. "Please Kara, let me explain !"

It had been a week since the last time they had seen each other. Since then, Barry had tried to contact Kara by any means, without success. He had looked for her in Catco, but when she saw him she fled somewhere far away from him. He had called her on the number she had given him the first night, but it didn't take him long to understand that she had blocked him. A thing that Barry understood is that Kara was asking for space for a few moments. But knowing her so far from him and mad at him was gnawing him from the inside. No, she wasn't angry she was disappointed, thought Barry.

"Anyway... once again Kara, I am sorry. For everything." There were a dozen possibilities for him to enter to her apartment. He could phase, open a breach inside ... or just open the door, which wasn't locked. But for it to work, he needed Kara to open it. "I'll be at S.T.A.R Labs if you need me. Can you just... think of the possibility to forgive me, please ?"

He waited a few seconds for an answer that never came, and then remained in his thoughts all the way to S.T.A.R labs. It's funny how interdimensional traveling seems so futile now.

A shrill sound echoed in his ears just as he entered the laboratory walls, contrasting with his depressive thoughts.

"BARRY ALLEN, WHY THE HELL IS THERE TOMATO SAUCE ON MY SUIT ?"

Oh boy, he definitely didn't need that right now.

**Earth-38, an hour ago.**

Kara had just extinguished a beginning of fire late at night. It wasn't a big deal, but this kind of small intervention helped her escape the drama of her current life, so she accepted it with joy. But as she was hiding in a dark alley near her building to change into more civilian clothes, she had been surprised by a flash of light.

"A speedster ?" Kara asked with amazed eyes. In front of her was a cluster of luminescent metal taking a humanoid form.

"Not just any, the God of speed." Answered the thing in a metallic voice. His tone seemed menacing, showing her that he was certainly not here to be friendly.

"What.." Kara was taken by surprise and missed the words. She analyzed him for a few seconds, which represented hours for the both of them. Staring at that humanoid thing, she thought of all the Speedsters that she could think of. At first she couldn't put her finger on it, but it's when she noticed the tip of the blade at the end of his wrist that she understood and that her face turned pale. "You're the one who.." she whispered.

"Indeed I am." He responded.

"... killed Iris." She finished her sentence as a single tear streamed down her cheek.

At his nonchalance when he admitted being the person who had broken her friend and killed his girlfriend, Kara just saw red and slap the thing right into the face.

"I barely felt that." Mocked the 'god of speed', grimacing and touching the back of his neck to make sure it wasn't broken.

"Why are you here and what do you want from me ?" She demanded answers from him, but laughter came out of his throat of metal.

"I guess you never get used to a kryptonian slap, right ?" Her face stayed strong. "Chill Kara, I don't remember you being so cold. That looks really bad on you." He laughed. At her questioning look, he continued. "I guess he didn't tell you who I am, didn't he ?" She signed a no with her head, prompting him to develop. "Of course he didn't. Too coward to tell the truth, as always."

The machine moved a few steps from Kara and knelt down. The blue lights dried up and the back of the machine opened in half, extending its metal pieces like butterfly wings.

A frail man came out. Standing there, facing the girl of steel, the air was cold icy. She recognized him immediately, of course, but did not say a word. She was just staring at him. After a few seconds, the man who looked like Barry couldn't look at her in the eyes anymore and looked down, as if he felt shame in spite of himself.

The man we now named Savitar wouldn't admit it, but he was trying to hide his horrible scar from the woman in front of him. After a minute that felt almost like a year, the woman approached him closely, almost maternally and softly put her hand on his scar. She whispered with teary eyes :

"What kind of monster could have did this to you ?"

"The kind of monster that haunts you forever." He said after an hesitating pause. His stare was still down, so she forced him to head up.

"Look at me Barry." She encouraged him by putting her fingers under his chin.

"That's not my name." He spit.

"What do you mean ?"

"That's not my name. I'm not your Barry. Your Barry was born in illusion, gentleness and weakness. In a world where people make you believe that everything is good and fair and logic... I was born in anger, rage and with the taste of power. The name is Savitar."

"I... I am not sure to understand... Savitar ?"

"I guess it's the time where the big bad explain all his plan to make it clearer, isn't it ? Ok, I'll do you that favor." He stared at the building. "But first let's go upstairs."

The next thing Kara knew is that she now was in her loft. That was fast, like really fast, even for her. As she tried to recover from the disorientation, she saw that Savitar was already standing at the window, watching National City all the way up.

"What you need to know is that I'm from the future. I came into the world when your Barry created me for a major crisis. I am a time remnant, Kara."

Kara stood up from the sofa and walked towards him to grab his arm.

"What a foolish thing to think that because you're a time remnant means you're not Barry. It doesn't define who you are." She assured motherly while chuckling gently.

Savitar groaned at the thought of being Barry. He would not waste his time contradicting her, he knew that it was pointless. Kara stroked his scar once more. "How did this happen ?" She asked.

He pushed her hand away brutally and his eyes filled with hatred.

"I know you're angry with Barry right now. But one day, you end up forgiving him. You keep thinking that it is only a phase and that he will stop thinking of you as a God, but he continues and gets more crazy with it. But worst of all, you look away."

As he spoke he came slowly but dangerously close to her, forcing her to walk backward. On his threatening grip on her that would almost seemed sensual, Kara has been trapped between Savitar and the wall.

"Until he crosses a line, and that you burn my face for it." He sent her a glance that could kill her a thousand time in once. "You know for a smart girl, it was the dumbest thing to do." He whispered at her ear, which gave her goosebumps.

"What... what did he do ?" Kara gulped, terrified to be the one who burned Barry's face.

"Huh-uh, spoiler alert." Savitar smirked while watching her with puzzled eyes.

"Then why ? Why showing up now if you don't want to say anything ?" Her narrowness with Savitar's face forced her to look away, showing once more that the speedster dominated her.

"To say thank you." He made a big smile that froze her blood. "You refused to be his god, so I decided to become one. And now, you'll have to deal with it while watching him falling."

Knocks sounded at the main door. Kara used her X-ray vision to see Barry standing over there, with a single rose on his hand. He wanted to apologize. "Kara please, I just wan't to say I'm sorry." She and Savitar heard.

She looked to the evil version of him and found him smiling. "See ? That's how it's starting."

"I'll stop you." Assured Kara in a low voice, with confidence emanating from it. "You won't hurt anyone else." All she wanted to do was to open that door and take Barry in her arms, but Savitar knew better.

"Will you ? Look at my face Kara. Look at me and say that you could kill me. I remember that one night, the night where you discovered the true Barry. You thought it was his doppelgänger, so you felt free to make confidences. You said that you had a crush on him, I bet it's still the case isn't it ? Now tell me that you'll have the guts to pull out my heart with your bare hands and watching out my livid face with no more life on it." He defied her. "We're both an equal match. If you want to take the win you're able to. But you can't." He approached her and whispered. "You're weak."

The only thought that went through Kara's mind was the one that haunted her for months. "Shame on me for having a human heart."

Knocks at the door stopped, and Kara could hear Barry's last words, telling her that if she wanted to talk to him she could meet him at S.T.A.R Labs. Kara immediately thought of all the means she could find to prevent Barry to become Savitar, and how she was about to confront him on the subject. But as if he was reading her thoughts, Savitar intervened. "You won't tell him anything."

Kara got cold again, almost mocking Savitar. "Why ? I thought you planned everything and that Barry was already aware of your identity ? You're afraid we find a way to stop you ?"

"No." He smirked. "I have already set up the gears for his fall. I killed Iris to lead him to you. I made him feel helpless, at the mercy of the world and made everything right for him to worship you. And now, he will do just that way until he loses control and then realizes that he can become a god as well. One way or another, I come to existence. You only have to watch him sink."

"That won't happen. Barry would never become you. He won't. Not if he realizes that he is your puppet."

"His destiny is to become me. But we both know him. If he discovers exactly how I'm born, then he will deny everything so that it does not happen. This boy is a wretch but he has will, I acknowledged that. But timeline is fragile, like a new born. Some event are meant to happen. If you force him to change his destiny, something that big, then I'll disappear, yes. But without enough vital force, he won't be able to get through a new timeline, and he will disappear as well." He approached her and played with a lock of her hair. Then he looked up. "The only way to end me is to kill me. And if you want to fight, I'm waiting for you. But... I don't think you have the stomach for that."

The evil Speedster gave her a haughty look, then fled in a flash of blue light that Kara could barely perceive. She took a deep breath, and an other, and an other, trying to calm down. And as she looked, she noticed Barry's single rose waiting on her step door. She knew what she had to do. She had to fight him. But to do so, she needed to train.

**S.T.A.R Labs, 1 hour later.**

"Chill Cisco, it's just tomato sauce. It'll leave with the washing machine." Barry sighed at the angry hispanic man in front of him.

"The washing machine ? THE WASHING MACHINE YOU SAID ? This suit requires the greatest care. It must be washed by a delicate hand who knows what she is doing. Why do you even eat Big Belly Burger in your suit and not in normal clothes like everyone else?" He shouted.

Barry smirked. "I'm pretty sure not everyone else as a suit though."

Cisco's face turned red. "Ok, this is done, I am done. From now on, you'll take an extreme care to that suit, or you'll have to go save people in underwear. It would never happen again do you hear me ? Not under my watch."

"Huh, if I may this is suit is actually mine. So I can technically do whatever I want to do with it. Plus, this is tomato sauce, pretty sure no one will notice it on a red suit." Barry chuckled.

"No ? No no no no, no and no ! This is OUR suit ! You're not the Flash, Barry," Cisco shot him an unhinged look and pointed at Barry and himself with the tip of his finger. "We are."

"Ok now this is creepy." Answered Barry.

A throat clearing from the back of the room disturbed their argument. Kara stood in the doorway, arms folded and an embarrassed smile stuck on her face. "Kara ?" Said Barry, more than happy.

"Yes." She smiled timidly before walking towards him and took him in her arms for a bear cuddle.

"I'm sorry for what I said, I didn't mean it." He cried, burying his face in her neck.

"I know, and I forgive you." She said, tightening her grip.

Cisco seemed to have calmed down. He looked at the both of them and mumbled grumpily something like "I'll let you both talk." He walked towards the front door, but he was arrested by Kara's hand.

"Salt and dishwashing liquid should do the job. Don't forget to rinse with cold water." He smiled sincerely, thanking her and then walked away.

Barry finally released his grip on Kara, took a step back and watched her puffy face. She had visibly cried. "Hey Kara, what's wrong ?"

She thought for a moment about her fight with Savitar up to come. He was strong, and she needed to train. But to do that, she needed Barry's help without telling him the truth. She would put it an end. She would kill Savitar if she had to, and she would stop him from forcing Barry to become that madman of religion, that turned into the Devil. Tomorrow, Supergirl will rise against Savitar. But first, she needed to ask that burning question.

"Do you still think that I'm a god ?" She asked, fearing the answer.

"Yes, I do." He answered ashamed.

But Barry didn't expect her to beg him in such a desperate way. "Then please, make me believe it.."

...

...

**So, how was it ? Did you like it ? It tried my best to do Savitar as accurate as I could concerning he's personality, and I actually think that I did a good job lol. I already written chapter 4, and this story will finally be 5, maybe 6 chapter (I'll see with the length) so yeah, forgot about the tree-shot lol, sorry. Please, be sure to leave a comment and tell me how I can improve myself. Until next time !**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi guys ! It's me again ahah, and nope I haven't give up on this story ! Sorry for the lack of updates though, but I want to make it clear : I'll give this story an end no matter what. I just was not in the mood for personal reasons recently, so that kinda explain that long wait ahah. So this chapter takes place right after the previous one, so I invite you to read the last one once again if you don't remember it correctly. It's more centered on Kara's point of view regarding the events, because I feel like I treated Barry most of the time and didn't focus enough on Kara. By the way, you can forget about the 3-shot thing lol, to put all the idea I have in my head for the end it might take 3 or 4 fore chapters, so... yeah.****Anyway, this is chapter 4, I hope you'll enjoy it and please let me know your point of view on this one !**

~~~~~~~

_Chapter 4 :_

"Not enough." Thought Kara to herself in a hight voice. "I have to be able... to adorn you and reattack right after." She said breathless, right after taking an other of Barry's punch on the back.

Barry was circling around her now. She perceived him easily and was preparing to avoid his move.

She noticed that his eyes suddenly turned to her and Kara knew it was the moment. As he run towards her, Kara stepped away and lifted up the speedster. As she finally thought she won, she felt electricity on her back again. In fact, Barry had escaped her grip and took the opportunity to attack her without her noticing it.

They were training for 2 hours now, and Kara was starting to get triggered. "Again." She ordered, relocating her two closed fists against her chest.

Barry stopped in front of her, putting his hands on his lap to catch his breath.

"You sure about that ? Can't we catch a break before ?" The Kryptonian gave him a determined look that made him understand that a pause was not for now. "Ok.."

He ran once more around her and started to climb the wall. His body filled with electricity and he ran on circles on the walls. A lightning bolt formed in the hollow of his hands and he prepared to throw it on Kara. Sadly for him, the kryptonian saw it coming; she leaned down and dodged the lightning, and then throw herself on barry. The speedster saw that her body came up dangerously close to him, so he began to vibrate to avoid being hurt. But as he finally felt out of danger, a cold wave swept through his body, terrifiying him. Kara blew frozen breath to him, making him vulnerable. But what truly terrified Barry was that unhinged look on her face. He put both his arms in front of himself in a vain intention to protect himself from a punch that never came. Instead, he felt his body rise from the ground as Kara lifted him up by the collar, ready to tear his limbs. Kara split a smile on her face. "Gotcha now." She said.

Barry's lips began to shake with fear, and it was only then that Kara realised what she was doing. She eventually released him but was filled with shame.

"I'm so sorry Barry, I didn't want to scare you." She apologized weakly.

"Nah it's ok." He said, trying to catch his breath.

"I guess I lost control, I didn't.. I didn't realize what I was doing."

"Kara, I said it's ok !" Barry stopped her. He then exhaled heavily, rubbing his eyes. "But we agreed that you'd only use your speed."

"I know but... it just felt like the appropriate thing to do in the moment. I forgot for a second."

Barry rolled his eyes and sat on a chair next to him, holding his sweatshirt in his hands.

"This is exactly where your problem is; when you fight, you don't use planty of your powers. You just use them when necessary, without using all of their capacites. You're fast, but your speed is not limited to running fast or having good reflexes. When I attack you, you dodge me and wait for what will happen next. You need to imagine that speed is the only power you have. Think fast. Think like a speedster. You lies too much on your invulnerability and strength, but your true strength lies on the harmony of your powers. When I attack you, you need to dodge me and stay at the same speed for whatever comes next. If you want to main your speed, this is the only way." Frowning, Barry chuckled in frustration. "I don't even understand why we do all that, what are you even trying to do by training against a speedster?"

"I told you," Kara said, frowning as well. "I want to be prepared for all situations. I need to feel that whatever could happen in the future, I can handle it."

"No, I know you. I know that this isn't just for training. It's deeper than that, I know you." Barry slowly raised his head and gave her an accusing look. "You're scared."

Kara squeezed her hands so hard that the white knuckle of her phalanx contrasted with her skin. "You don't know me at all;" She took a few steps back, put her fists back into position and said : "and I'm not afraid. Again."

"Kara please !" Barry stood up suddently. "I know you. And I know that you've been struggling for the past few days because of me, and I know all the pain and disappointment I did to you. But Kara it's still me ! I'm still your Barry ! My convictions would never change any of that ! If something worries you, I want you to talk to me about it. You can trust me." He whispered to her, taking her hand in his.

Barry noticed Kara's sad face. "I think that this is what it is all about." Kara removed her hand from his grip. "I wish I could tell you everything without a second thought, but I can't. I'm sorry that I can't seem all happy when I'm with you. I'm sorry that I get often triggered recently, I'm sorry to be on my tusks, and above it all I'm sorry that I can't open my heart to you as easily as I could have before."

Kara snorted. Even though she wanted it, she couldn't say what her brain was about to say, so she looked away.

"But you changed things, Barry. And as much as I hate it, it changed my perception of you."

The man didn't react, because inside he knew. He asked timidly, as he was begging her to go deeper : "What do you mean ?"

Kara forced herself to look him in the eyes : "As for me, it's like I have to get to know you once again; you want me to tell you what's in my mind but I can't... I can't because- because my heart isn't used to you anymore. I want to and I want to be the same with you that I was before, but my heart can't right now. He could have handle it before. But now ? He just forgot. You're still my friend, I still love you and consider you as my family; Fuck yes I do. But for now, you've brought something new to the equation and I don't know how to handle it. I will, eventually, but I just need time to process."

Barry nodded shamefully. "I can't tell you how much I feel sorry to hear this. How much I'm sorry that I broke your trust."

"Don't be. I understand you, in a way. It's just that.. I finally had a great friend who truly understood me; my job as a superhero and all its responsibilities... but you took all this in a matter of seconds."Kara continued slowly, as she was about to choke with her saliva :

"The selfish truth is, Barry, that I blame you for taking all this away from me. And I love you, as much as I resent you."

She wasn't angry, and she meant no harm. She even smiled at some point. Her speech only reflected the pain of an injured soul.

Barry understood and didn't try to protest. He knew Kara was hurt, but deep down, he also knew that he didn't really paid attention to whatever could feel Kara during these meetings. Not really. Not... that way. And he respected it, because after all he was blaming himself too. And at this point, he realised that yes, faith really helped him to handle his grief and gave him hope. But in a meantime, it also made him selfish.

"I don't blame you." He exhaled. "I'm not going to lie, I did it knowing exactly what it could do to you, but I've chosen faith anyway. I feel dirty, in regards to you. But you know what the sad truth is ? It's that it doesn't change my mind about you. I'm sorry Kara, but for everything you did to me, for everything you help me go through without even knowing it ? There has to be a reason behind all that."

Inside, Kara just wanted to scream. To wake him up from his disillusion, to tell him that he was only the puppet of his future self. But she couldn't, Savitar had made it clear. And now she had to fight against what appeared to be the Devil. She desperately wanted to believe that she was a god too; to be able to annihilate the Devil. Sadly, these words sounded wrong to her ears. But one thing was clear for her; she would set Barry free. She'll free him from the grip of Savitar, from this misplaced faith and from the demons of his past. Today or tomorrow, she will put it all an end. Today or tomorrow, she will kill Savitar.

Plugged in her thoughts, Kara didn't answer, so Barry continued : "I want to thank you for your honesty. You don't know how much it means to me. And I hope that we'll find a way to get our relationship back, just like the way it was. I'll give you the time you need, this time."

Kara stared at him and felt sorry. She was grateful for his understanding. She didn't understand how this gentle man could become the embodiment of the evil, and would probably forget all that bitterness that she felt for him if she wasn't certain of that eventuality. Silently, she mimed a "thank you" with her lips, her eyes shiny. And she knew it, she cared about him a lot. More than she should.

This is probably why she asked him a last hug before to go. Many would say that it was for some courage, and maybe it was. Maybe it was for something else. At the end of the journey, she might admit that it was for multiple reasons. But in the speedster arms, she felt secure, and powerful, and somehow; loved. So that's all she needed.

And within S.T.A.R Labs, it seemed like we could hear "I can do this" echoing on the walls as Kara flew away.

~~~~

Kara landed heavily in the middle of a dilapidated driveway, leaving a slight crater on her landing. She turned her head in all directions, looking for the object of her torment between the garbage that littered the ground and the dead leaves that accumulated with time.

"Pretty smart to come find me here." Said a voice from the back.

Kara turned around and noticed Savitar standing there. She wasn't surprised; she knew that Savitar was the kind of man to look after his entrance.

"Infantino street !" Kara declared. "Sadly famous place for the murder that was committed there. Avoided by everyone and considered as cursed since the death of Iris West." Kara winked. "I knew that your disturbed mind would find a kind of poetry to meet there."

Savitar smirked : "You know me too well."

He looked at her from top to bottom, with an astonished but devious look. "You know, I didn't think you'd have the guts to come face me. I can only imagine how hard it is to go in a battle with a man wearing the face of the one you won't admit you love."

She didn't pay attention to his last sentence and answered : "You made it clear, you're not Barry. As far as I'm concerned, you're just a bad guy causing troubles to my friend."

"Hmpf, anyway." Savitar chuckled. "The victory will only be more beautiful ! When Barry will see his God falling in battle, he will be more broken than he could ever be. And his rage will make me more alive and stronger than ever. Simple cause and effect relationship."

It was Kara's turned to laugh. "You seem pretty confident that you'll win. You shouldn't understimate me, have you already forget about your scar ?"

"Oh, Kara." Blew Savitar. "I've spend a lifetime learning everything about you. Your weaknesses, your fears. The way you battle; and the way you can be defeated. This is the advantage when you're.. a fanatical !" He made an unhinged smile.. "I once let you burn my face because deep down I thought I deserved the 'divine' punishment. I won't make that mistake again."

Kara smirked. "To me, it looks like the speech of a man who tries to reassure himself."

"Not quite." Savitar smiled.

He turned around and all Kara could see was his back. Suddenly, a metal flicker appeared at the end of his feet, slowly rising up his legs. Savitar slowly began to walk around her, in what appeared to be an oppressive dance overhanging Kara.

"I've learned that there's bless in disappointment. Supergirl and Rao's lies helped me to be more dangerous, more conscientious of my power, and by extension; more deadly. That pain the gods inflicted on me, that hurt... you will feel all of it in the bite of my blade."

The sound of that same blade creaking against the asphalt made Kara shudder. Savitar whispered loudly enough for her to hear : "Every hit that I'll blow to you, will be filled with my hatred for the gods..."

He eventually turned in front of her and whispered loudly : "Remains the question... how long will you last before I kill you and take your mightiness away ?"

During a short time Kara felt hesitant. Deep down, she felt it; fear. Worse, she felt trapped. But it was only when she heard a small sizzle in her ear that she relaxed.

"Kara, what are you doing in Infantino street ?"

It was Barry's voice. And suddenly, she wasn't afraid anymore. She remembered what she was fighting for. She was fighting for Barry's sake, for his future, for his mental health and for him to thrive. She didn't need to know anything else. She turned off the com that Cisco gave her and prepared to battle, responding to his hubris by provocation :

"You want to see who'd be victorious ? Then come find out." Kara argued.

The evil speedster chuckled archly while putting his helmet on; "Oh oh, this is gonna be fun."

The sound of a sonic boom soon woke up most of the Central city's citizens late at night. In bird view, up in the sky, we could have seen a blue blur flying around the city, followed by a white streak of light.

A divine war had begun.

~~~~~

**And this is the end of chapter 4 ! Have you enjoyed it ? The next chapter will be centered on the fight, I'll ask you to be open-mind because it will be my first foght scene and honestly I don't know what it worth ahah. Chapter 5 is already written, I'll post it either tomorrow or in two days, just to the time to make some modification with a new look and to correct the mistakes that I could eventually find (I'm french so you can expect a few anyway ahah)**

**Please, tell me if you like this chapter or not, and don't hesitate to tell me what you would have like to see on this one or on the futur one ! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi there ! As promised, here is chapter 5 ! This one is centered on Kara and Savitar's fight, as it was teased since 2 chapters. I'm not used to write fight scenes, so I clearly don't know what it worth, so let me know ! By the way, I wanted to ask you, have you guys lost interest in this story ? I mean I would get it, the irregular updates must be hard to follow, and the concept of this story is one of a kind, so.. yeah. The lack of reactions and view kinda make me feel that I'm doing something wrong, and I really want that story to please you, so let me know if you have anything to advise about it.**

**And thank you @Nikkikay88 to let me know your point of view and for all the compliments, you have no idea how much it pleases me that you like this story !**

**A****nyway, enjoy people !**

_The fanatical : Chapter 5_

Flashes of light. That's probably what Kara would remember the most of that night. Everywhere, every second, she was seeing flashes of light. That light almost seemed like her biggest enemy now, ripping off her eyes a bit more everytime.

She cashed the shout gracefully without flinching; shots that in normal times would not hurt much but who, accumulated, began to hurt. Barry was right, her usuals tactics weren't a good match against a speedster. Most of the time, she was just punching hard and harder, using her heat vision or frozen breath here and there until her opponent faded. But now, she was handling a man that almost cannot be touched, and it seemed incredibly hard to hurt him.

"You still think you can handle this ?" Asked Savitar with a smirk under his armor.

Kara looked at him :

"I sure do. It's just the beginning." She said, adjusting her cape back.

Savitar came up with a superspeed punch, hitting her right in the face and threw her against a tree. What surprised Kara is that she actually felt it. She started to understand that Savitar was playing with his food; she was the mouse and him the cat. If she wanted to beat him, she had to be more offensive, she had to think fast, just like Barry said.

She glanced at Savitar and rose up into the sky under his questioning gaze. She targeted him and blew her frozen breath on him. Of course, she missed him, but it was on purpose : the ground was now covered with Ice and was more difficult for Savitar to run in.

Around a meter of ice was separating the speedster from the ground, yet he found out a way to keep going by skating on the ice. With a sweet smile on her face, Kara got back to the ground and smashed an ice block; now connected to the floor, she started to vibrate her hands. The shaking caused a small earthquake, powerful enough to destroy the ice on which Savitar were but not enough to destroy the city.

Her goal was reached, Savitar tripped over the ice cracks and hit a wall, what hurt him for the first time in the fight.

In a state of livid furry, Savitar grunted and got up, rushing on Kara. He pushed the kryptonian, dragging her inert body through different buildings before Kara could even react, and finally bursted her against a giant billboard. She fell in the ground like a mosquito that was just being smashed, yet she had no appearing injuries. She was just lost, and wondered what just happened.

Shaking her head, she gave up the idea of an explanation and then flew up three meters above the ground, chasing Savitar.

She wanted to catch him but knew it was in vain. She was lucky when Savitar, thinking she was on his heels, was surprised to see that she was no longer there when he turned around.

The speedster, still hungry for battle turned back on his feet, only to be shaken by a punch that damaged the upper part of his armor. She then flew him up into she sky, frozed him with her breath and threw the speedster back in infantino street, destroying a statue in a meantime. Kara could see that his armor was beginning to crack at a few places.

"You're strong, and fast." Kara said landing next to him. "But underneath that metal you're still human. One well place punch and you're no more. Give up now, and no one has to be hurt." She advised him.

Savitar smirked to her proposition. "Did you know that a speedster lightning bolt was around a billion joules ?" He struggled to stand up and vibrated his fist, forming little lightings around it. "If I remember correctly, kryptonian are kinda vulurable to electricity, right ?"

Kara openly smiled and gave him an arrogant gaze. "You want to do it in the good old fashion way, don't you ?"

The man approached her with an air of friendly complicity : "No trick, no trap. No epic move or masterful plan either; just two old friends and four fists fighting for victory. What do you say ?"

Kara laughed. "Hmpf, I say you're so screwed."

So that's what they did, Kara trying to keep up on Savitar's reflexes to touch him, and the speedster trying to punch hard enough to hurt her. The battle was setting, and it had stood so for hours that the both of them stopped counting until the day comes up. They both started to get injured and tired at some point, but for unknown reasons it seemed like the fight was never going to end.

At east, on the hills, countless onlookers watched the battle scene unfolding before their eyes; a bestial fight without inhibition that seemed to present an almost sexual tension between the two protagonists. The press didn't miss any detail, whether it was the way Supergirl had made an arm wrench to the speedster before turning him against the ground, or the wound that had opened on her forehead after she received another of his highly electrified punch. All of it was broadcast live on TV.

But among the curious was a young man who was watching the scene with a more personal interest than the others. Barry, from all his way up was sucked into the combat. He wondered why Kara was fighting his future-self, how she even met him in the first place, but most importantly if she knew his identity. It was a little clearer now for him. The way Kara acted while they were training, and the reason of the training itself. Of course, he tried to contact Kara by hacking her com, but she immediately turned it off, asking him to not interfere, arguing that it was personal for her too now. So he just watched the fight getting pathetic as the both were getting injured, with the head still full of questions, worried about her and her safety. He lost Iris because of this man, he didn't want to lose her too, but he knew that he was powerless against him. If anyone could avenge the death of his fiancée, even if it hurt that it wasn't him, he knew it was Kara.

He thought he knew everything about the woman he worshiped; he had heard about the fights Supergirl had lead, her victories and failures, but he had never really seen her in action in all these years. What surprised him in the first place was the grace that Supergirl put into the battle. She avoided the blows with fluidity and each of her movements looked like a dance step. This fight, while more bestial than tactical, was spectacular. At least, that's what it looked like on the outside.

On the inside, Kara felt like a mess; her left arm hurt, she was struggling catching her breath and she felt a horrible pain on her head. She couldn't find any reason for her to continue, but she saw thousands pushing her to stop. But here's the thing, she didn't want to; she had to fight, for Barry. So she fought harder, with this idea still running in her head.

At this point, the fight had lost all its spectacular side. It was nothing more than a bestial fight, where the two, exhausted, were were just throwing punches at each other in the vain attempt of making the other fall. Every hit they wore were a result of a huge effort.

Savitar, struggling to catch his breath, threw a last lazy punch at Kara, which she quicky stopped with her own hand. She drew in her strength and twisted his wrist, forcing him to kneel. And as he screamed in pain, Kara flew them off and pinned him against a wall. He was trapped, unable to phase to escape because of her strong grip, he only waited and stared at her.

"I love it when you're so close to me." Savitar chuckled in pain.

"Do you think this is funny ?" She asked seriously.

"Come on, can't I enjoy a woman's body next to me before she kills me ? That desire of me in your eyes, it's delicious." He provoked her.

"I don't desire you." Kara swallowed under his amused gaze. "And I won't kill you. I'll just lock you up in that cage where you won't be able to hurt anyone else. And maybe you'll finally come to your senses. Until then, you can rot."

Savitar laughed sarcastically.

"Ahhh Kara, always so naïve and full of good intention. There is no prison you can build that can contain me and you know it. One day or another, I'll escape. If you want all of this to end, that simple," He glanced at her and said calmly : "Kill me."

Kara released a little of her grip and looked at the floor.

"No I.. just.." She babbled.

"Come on that's eazy." He said. "You said it yourself earlier; one well placed punch and I'm no more." He moved his head so that it almost touched hers. "Come on, that's what you came for right ? No big deal, do it !" He then shouted at her lack of reaction. "DO IT !"

Kara didn't react.

Taking the opportunity of her hesitation, Savitar threw her a small lightning with his hand and threw a superspeed punch at her, flying her off a few meters away.

"Pathetic !" He exclaimed coming closer to her. "Ridiculous !" He shouted while throwing her an electrified punch, making her scream. "The Girl of Steel herself, unable to kill because she cares." He lifted her up by the collar and smiled at her. "I'm used to disappointment but that really feels wrong even for me."

He then lifted her up in his arms and started a race, knocking her against various obstacles during his marathon. Kara eventually landed in a parc, really disoriented.

"Amateur !" Savitar continued. "Impostor !"

She looked at him and saw that he was as badly injured by the fight. He was no longer thinking clearly because of his wounds and was dangerously close to faint. Kara wanted to take the opportunity to knock him out.

She clenched her fists; in an impulse she got up and prepared to load. Sadly, she didn't have the time to do so because of a violent blow that was brought to her head, causing her to fall.

"Submit." He ordered feverishly.

Against all odds, Kara, at the end of her strength, knelt down.

The crowd on the hills was holding it's breath, and was as silent as was infantino street. That was it; the Girl of Steel had lost, and was now kneeling down to her opponent.

Savitar, whose armor had vanished because of Kara's violent blows but who was still unrecognizable because of his wounds remained silent.

"Brave girl." He finally said. "Brave, wise girl." He thought.

"I give up." She said. "I can't fight anymore, and I'm unable to kill Barry whoever he became." She snorted, she didn't want to live in a world with Barry's fate on her shoulders. "Kill me if you want, it doesn't matter anymore."

Kara, on her knees, condemned to death, no longer cared about the world around her. She had no strength left and was tired of fighting. Tired physically and emotionally.

She closed her eyes, waiting for the upcoming final blow. She apologized to Barry, and prayed one last time Rao to guide her after her death.

Savitar, exhausted, a few steps away from fainting turned around the woman on her knees and began to scream :

"No.. no.. NO !" He yelled for himself. His screams made Kara's eyes open. "This is not how it's supposed to happen. It's too eazy !"

He started to cry. "You're supposed to beg me to spare you ! To apologize for what you did to me and melting into tears ! I I did NOT wait so long for you to give up so easily !"

At this point, Kara could see all the pain in Savitar's mind. "Beg for me !" He cried. "Crawl to my feet for forgivness. NOW !"

Kara swallowed her saliva, tears forming at the base of her eyes as she licked her lip. "Spare me." She said after an hesitant pause. "Please ?" She asked with a trembling voice.

Savitar held his hands on his temples as he shook his head in frustration, still crying with anger. "No, no no, no. That's not enough." He whispered. "TRY AGAIN !" He said while kicking her back, making her fall in the dirt.

"I apologise." Kara implored. All she could think of was what Barry could think of her now. She was sure that he was hearing and seeing everything, and she was ashamed.

"For what !?" He shouted.

Kara sobbed. "For being a false god and for what I did to you... because I ruined your feelings and because I burned your face." Under the greedy eyes of Savitar, she knew she had to continue. "I'm sorry that I created you."

Savitar was still not pleased by this end. All he wanted to do for decades was to kill her. And now that she was standing right in front of him, at his mercy, waiting for him to kill her, something felt wrong.

"And what do you want from me ?" He cried again. It seemed like his tears couldn't stop.

Kara snorted and looked up into the sky. "... Mercy..." She tried, still crying. "..Redemption.."

Savitar watched her patheticly apologizing and couldn't hold more of that meaningless speech.

He pulled a kryptonite blade out of his sleeve and pointed it at Kara's neck. He hadn't used it during the fight because he was aware that kryptonite alone could never hurt a determined kryptonian. But now she stood at his feet, almost inert and was defenseless.

They were both an equal match, and deep down he knew that the only reason why he took her down was because he was lucky. But now, it was done, so what was he waiting for ?

He pressed the blade against her neck harder, under the look of Kara. She was not struggling, she was just... waiting. And Savitar couldn't help but looking at her blue eyes too, as if he was hypnotized. Nevertheless, a drop of blood took him out of his thoughts. His blood.

He looked at her once more and drop the blade.

"What have I done ?" He whispered. "What have I become ?"

He released Kara and started to watch his hands. Kara looked at him and felt relieved. She might not die today after all. And Savitar was looking his hands as if they contained the answers to his questions, so maybe there was still hope for Barry.

"I think that no matter how broken you are, there's still some Barry in you, you know." Kara whispered in a broken but friendly voice.

"No Kara just.. my hands." He showed his hands as Kara struggled to get up. And what she saw filled her with fright.

His hands started to get luminescent cracks everywhere that were slowly rising up to his elbow. "Kara what's happening to me ?"

Savitar fell on the ground.

~•~•~•~•~•

"You're gonna be fine." Kara whispered in a low voice. "You're gonna be just fine." She repeated.

Savitar was lying on her thighs, luminescent cracks now appearing on his face. He did nothing but chuckled in pain at what she said.

"Stop that bullshit, will you ? I'm disappearing from timeline." He said. Kara didn't dare to answer so he made a pleasure to continue. "He was listening us, you know ? He figured it all out by himself. The way I come to the world, and the reasons of my anger."

Kara hesitated to ask.

"That's why you're disappearing ?"

"I told you, this guy may be a lot of things but he has the will. Now that he knows where the problem is coming from, he'll do the necessary to not make the same things that created me."

Kara made an other hesitant pause.

"And the problem comes from me, doesn't it ?" Savitar cleaned his throat with bitterness. "In conclusion I never come to this world."

It was Savitar's turn to remain silent. He's breath was getting more hard to catch. For what it matters, it seemed like he was dying more from his wounds than from the time running out.

"No.. no. I'm not taking this." Kara finally said. "I'll take you to S.T.A.R Labs and we will find a solution. We'll help you. And when you're gonna be fine, I'll help you to be good again. You're still good, deep down. Otherwise you would have kill me when you had the occasion."

"Cut the crap Kara, I'm diying. There is nothing you can do. There is no futur for me." Savitar whispered, putting an end to her hope.

Kara rolled up her lips, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

"Then if you're diying.. please, I need to know... Is there really nothing I can do to prevent Barry from becoming that madman of religion ? To prevent his anger from consuming him from the inside ?" She cried over Savitar, begging for answers.

Savitar rolled his eyes.

"I was doomed to become who I am. I wanted to get away from this curse and I failed." He said.

Kara nodded silently, still trying to smile for Savitar. "If I don't smile, he will feel alone as he was most of his live." She thought. So she kept smiling, no matter how much her tears was spoiling her mascarade. And despite himself, the most Savitar was looking at her, the most he felt empathic for her.

And because of that, taking a deep breath, Savitar whispered high enough for her to hear :

"The truth is that I didn't tried hard enought."

Kara made a sincere smile, nodded and mimed a "thank you" with her lips.

Particles began to emanate from Savitar's body. Kara felt the fear in Savitar's eyes, and although the words were not there, she understood that he was afraid of dying.

So, as a mother would do when her child has a nightmare, she took him in her arms; gently putting his head against her heart, and had hold him so until the end.

And while no word was required, Kara felt a little blow against her ear.

"I am sorry, for the man I became."

Kara's tear fell on his cheek and she tightened him harder. His transformation into particles intensified, more and more quickly, more and more violently; every second took a bit more of him. And he disappeared of her life as suddently as he came in; silently.

Soon enough, Kara found herself tightening up the void, the heat of his body still carressing her arms.

"He's not here." She whispered. "He's gone." she said.

She was floating in an ocean of nothing. She was seeing nothing, and she felt nothing. Just... the void.

This is probably why she didn't noticed the red flash erupting in Infantino Street.

"Kara !" Barry cried. She dried her last tear before turning to the person who asked for her attention. She could see Barry, groggy, holding his hands on his stomach. He was clearly looking for help.

"I don't feel so good." He mumbled.

Barry then proceed to fall on the floor and fainted at the exact same place where Savitar disappeared. Kara tried to wake him up by any mean but she couldn't. After a few minutes, she decided to get him to S.T.A.R labs. But on her way, she remembered Savitar's words :

"_Some event are meant to happen. If you force those things to change then I'll disappear, yes. But forcing him to get through a new timeline will make him disappear too._"

And Kara, from the top of her recents experience with time had only one thought in her head ;

_"_Timeline is such a bitch."

**So ? How was it ? I really don't know about this chapter. I mean it felt good when I wrote it, but now that I'm reading it again something feels wrong... too rush maybe ? I really don't know, I'm not at ease with those fight scenes ahah. They're easy to write in french, but damn hard in english.**

**Anyway, tell me what you guys think of that turn, and let me know anything that your mind think of the story at this point, I'm really curious.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey hey hey ! Haven't post it a while, I know. I think I just needed a little break, I'm sorry. As you know, english isn't my mother tongue, so it is extremely hard to variate my vocabulary without usine any extern support, what I'm trying to avoid as much as I can, and the english way to write story is truly different from the way we do it in french, so the difficulty was just so hight that I needed a break for the well-being of this story. I like to write, but I don't like to write because I have to, I want what I post to be just the way I imagined it, and to force those things just isn't for me, so.. yeah. Anyway, I've been working hard lately, and I must say that this story is near from its end. I almost finished the next chapter, and it might contain one more - or two, depending on how the chapters will be cut.****Because it's been a while, I advise you to read the last chapter before reading the new one (or even the whole story if you're brave enough ahah). I truly hope you'll like this new one. I loved writing it ! I'm experiencing the different POV, I don't know if you'll like it, let me know ! The next chapter is on the third POV anyway, but if you like it, I would love to give it a shot once again in the future. Anyway, enjoy !**

**The Fantical : Chapter 6**

"Say it again." Joe asked, sitting at Barry's bedside while holding his hand. "Explain me how the hell did this happen." He asked, almost ordering, without conviction in his voice while looking away.

After Barry fainted, Kara brought him back at S.T.A.R labs hoping that they could find a solution to wake him up. Sadly, after three more days nothing seemed to indicate that he would, and Barry remained steadidly laid on the medical bed. Kara had told them the whole story many times, answering every question they could have, but nothing seemed to appease Barry's family.

Nevertheless, she cleared her throat and started it all from the beginning once again.

"When you were dealing with Savitar... you wondered why Barry could'nt avoid becoming him now that he knew that Iris's death would turn him into that monster. You first thought that he was just doomed to be that devasted and angry man, unable to change his destiny." Kara lowered her head in shame. "But the truth is that he was strong enough. The reason why he didn't managed to change his destiny by the time was because he wasn't focusing on the real problem.. he was wrong; Iris's death didn't turned him into Savitar, his hatred towards me did. And now that he knows it, he's trying to change his destiny. He's trying to get through a new timeline. That's why we have to wait... for him to find his future."

"We faced time-travel changement before. Things never occured like this, either people people disappeared, like Thawne, or changes were made without us realizing it, like flashpoint. We never had to wait. Something just doesn't match." Said accusingly Cisco.

"That's because to do so, the speedforce directly uses Barry's vital forces, which gradually exhausts him. Barry becoming Savitar constitutes a fixed point in the timeline. It's so ingrained that the Speedforce itself have to directly uses Barry to find a way out. But if the speedforce does not succeed, it could draw all of Barry's energy before finding a solution. Going so far as to erase him from our very existence. Their connection seems really complex, I don't have the hubris to say that I understand it, but if the speedforce itself needs to use Barry to find a solution, then I would say that it is a serious event."

"There's something I still don't get." Cisco started. "Why would he hate you in the first place ?"

Kara bit her lip and moved her hair, obviously uncomfortable as she turned her eyes to Cisco.

"Because Savitar pushed him to do so." She exhaled. "Each event that happened in his life was the result of a careful plan."

Caitlin rubbed her forehead, thinking it would help her get her ideas back in order. "What kind of event ?" The doctor asked.

"He gave you powers, Caitlin." Kara made a shy smile, that showed how sorry she was. "So that your bitterness towards Barry grows day by day, making his guilt stronger."

There was so much in Caitlin's single look: sadness, guilt and, most of all, hurt. Kara knew it was hard to take, so she left the doctor in her thoughts before turning to Cisco.

"He killed your brother in that car accident, Cisco... He did it knowing that you would accuse Barry for flashpoint. And after that, Barry moved away from his friend, the one he considered as a brother."

Kara took a deep breath, seeking courage to face the last concerned person.

"And finally..." She cleared her throat after an hesitant pause. "He killed the woman Barry loved." She whispered while turning to Joe. "What was the breaking point of his sanity. There was nothing left that pushed him to live; he lost his two best friends, who made him feel unworthy of being The Flash and were hating him. He lost the love of his life, the only source of joy he had left. And finally, he lost the love of a father, who could have help him to hold on in that crisis."

Joe listened attentively without reacting to Kara's revelations. His hand, which he didn't even know was trembling settled on his face, slowly massaging his chin.

"I don't understand..." He finally exhaled. "As horrible as Savitar is, we know that he was mainly broken. If all of what you just said isn't enough to break him, if his hatred towards you indeed pushed him to become Savitar, then what happened ? What could be worst than this ? Than us ?"

"A false hope ?" Kara suggested with an uncomfortable smile. She cleared her throat for what seemed to be the thousand time since the beginning, showing everyone how uncomfortable she was regarding her position in this story. "I somehow gave him something to hold on from his loneliness and guilt. I couldn't explain why, or how, but he started to see a god in me. And I'm not talking about someone you call a god only because they're powerful, I'm talking about the kind of god you worship. I know, it seems crazy.."

"Oh, you don't say." Joe slowly cut her off, still looking into the void with a small tone of bitterness.

"But." Kara struggled to continue. "According to Savitar, even though I try my best to open his eyes in the future, it doesn't change anything. His madness gets harder and harder, until he does something so horrible for my 'glory'... that I burn his face for it." Kara took a deep breath. "That's why he realized everything when I mentioned it during my fight with Savitar. Because Barry understood that when I did this to Savitar, I created him. His futur is a result of his faith, and of me in a meantime."

As Kara talked, she started to cry and didn't bothered to wipe her tears. And while she was talking, Caitlin stood up to gently pose her hand on Kara's shoulders, showing her her support.

"It wasn't your fault." Caitlin said while rubbing her back.

"But I should have been more careful ! Savitar had told me that Barry should never know. I shoud've.."

"It wasn't your fault." She repeated, cutting her off. "This was too much for you, it would have been for anyone."

"But if he disappears.."

"He won't." Joe said out of nowhere. "He'll manage to get through a new timeline. Barry's strong, he can handle it."

Joe stood up, surprising everyone. He approached Kara, which made her slowly raise her eyes with fear. Once near Kara, he put his hand on her thigh and crouched down to get to her level. Slowly, he raised her chin to see her eyes misted with tears. And as Kara's eyes rose to Joe's, she perceived the contrast between the cold, worried and sad man that she was seeing before and the fatherly, warm man she had in front of her very eyes ;

"I agree with Caitlin, and everyone here does too. It wasn't your fault. You helped a man, my son, and gave him hope. It might turn ugly in the future but, hey.. you still did.. or will do.. better than us. You were there when we weren't. Don't be sad, or guilty. You should be proud." He said, his strong hand still firmly laying on her thigh.

"But if I tried harder to convince him, Barry would have never turned into Savitar... Barry wouldn't disappear, and Iris would still be alive. You would still have your daughter and your son..."

Joe sighed heavily, wipping out one of his own tears. He then turned his head back to Kara, and she could see that his face was adorned with a melancholic smile.

"It wouldn't have changed anything... I want you to know that. It wasn't something you could prevent, or avoid. My daughter might be gone, it's true, but I don't want you to feel bad or guilty about it. Although it turned bad, it wasn't your intention. You helped her beloved one and gave him something to live for." He smiled sincerly at her, and Kara could glimpse the paternal side that Barry saw in him. Something she never really knew. "That's all she would've wanted. You honored Iris's death more than we did."

"Joe, I am so sorry." She said, her eyes still glowing.

"Again, don't be." He got up with difficulty, leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Be proud."

Kara nodded hardly as a single tear escaped her eye. He sighed. "We'll leave you alone with Barry for a moment." He said. "You could use a moment to make the point."

Kara was grateful that Joe understood her needs so much, because at that time that's all she ever wanted. She needed time for herself to focus on the latest events, something she did not really benefit from recently due to the speed with which this last week had unrolled.

Soon enough, Kara found herself alone in the room with Barry still laying on his bed.

She took Joe's sit and sat down at his bedside watching him attentively. Alone, Kara took the time to contemplate the beauty of his body with a single, perfect new look. She observed him with as much desire and passion a new born would give to the world. "He is perfect." She thought. She was concentrating on his pulse which was spinning faster than she could count and which made her smile ; his pale hands were inert, and Kara soon enough surprised herself drawimg small circles in the one she was holding. His breath, however, fascinated her more than anything. It was slow and deep, which contrasted with the speed that regulated his body. She was fascinated by the little snoring that resonated with each breath as if it were the sweetest melody. Each breath blew a small strand of hair lazily hanging on his forehead.

Kara could say it, he looked appeased. She always thought that it was something people said figuratively for not having to endure the painful reality, but she was unable to deny it at this very moment. When she looked at him, so calm and so peaceful in this reign of silence, all she wanted was to lie down beside him under the blanket and hug him, to rub his feet to hers while being rocked by his little snoring against her skin. "He is perfect." She thought again.

Unfortunately, that was the whole problem; Barry _seemed _appeased, on the outside. On the inside, Kara knew that he was getting tired. His attempts to find himself a new future were exhausting his whole body and consciousness, and this apparent peacefulness was only there because his mind was elsewhere, trying to find a way out to all this mess. "Despite it, he still looks perfect." She thought.

What could she have given for Barry ? She didn't know.

Kara knew there was nothing she could do to help Barry at this very moment. So, feeling the accumulated tiredness from these last days, she let herself slowly falling asleep, still keeping her hand contact with the Speedtser. It may not had occurred as she imagined it, but she was happy to be rocked by Barry's little snoring while letting all her stress go away. And maybe, with this new born look's on the world, the growing unconsciousness would take with it all of her worries. Maybe, tomorrow it might all be gone. Maybe... maybe.

~•~•~•~

**Kara Danvers's POV.**

"Wake up, Kara." I could hear a woman's voice whispering to me. My thoughts were still blurry, so I assumed that it was just my dream. "Open your eyes." The woman's voice said again, louder this time.

I felt the desire to find out who this unknown voice belonged to, but my eyelids seemed too heavy to discover it. I took a deep breath and started to open my eyes as the voice ordered me, and then proceed to stretch inconsciously.

I felt reassured when I felt Barry's arm under my hand. I gave him a brief look to make sure he was fine before turning to a woman at the end of our bed, certainly the woman who had called me. A red-haired woman with warm features observed us without saying a word with a total absence of expression on her face.

"I've seen you before." I declared, slowly sitting on the bed. "But I can't place where." I continued while certainly frowning.

The woman took a breath as she was about to answer, but she finally remained quiet. She gave me a look and a slight provocative smile, quietly inciting me to think. I stood there thinking for what might be a minute or two under her amused gaze. "Are you... Barry's mother ?" I asked after remembering a picture I saw on Barry's living room.

The woman smiled to me. "Only physically."

"Then who are you ?" I asked after a pause, still wondering about that mysterious woman. I didn't notice it at first, but when I looked around me I could see that our environment was nothing natural. We seemed to float in an ocean of nothing. There was no floor, nor was there walls. No matter how much I was squinting and using my super-vision, I couldn't see any corner of what was around us. Only a white fog and lymbes that were torn by the bed on which Barry and I rested.

"We are the combination of space and time. Where nothing moves but where every movement comes from. We are the Speedforce." The woman said.

"So.. we are in the speedforce ?" I asked, amazed. Barry had told me the stories about the speedforce before. I somehow never imagined that I could live one of them. And I actually didn't imagine it that way.

"Yes, you are." The speedforce said.

After an hesitant pause and a lot of thought running through my head, I asked.

"I... I thought only speedsters could get in here."

"We're not just some entity that gives people their power." The figure said disdainfully. "We are the element that governs the activity of space through time. In other words, all that moves has its place in here." The speedforce said robotically. It then find a peice of humanity back once it told me with a wink : "Plus let's not forget that you're not so slow yourself."

I smiled at the compliment. I was a little embarrassed at the idea of finding myself in front of the material entity of space and time. When you think about it, speed is only the action of time on matter ... basically, I couldn't help but think that it was perhaps.. that it was it... God. That nothing else mattered. It's here since the age of time, and it will always be. At the end of the day, that's what we are.. speed ; matter walking through time...

Nevertheless, the speedforce cut my thoughts :

"It seems that you have the head full of questions, Mrs Zor-El." The speedforce said. "But that's not the reason of your presence, don't you think ?"

A shiver crossed my entire spine. I didn't want to ask, but I had to.

"He isn't going to make it, isn't he ?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"We fear so." It answered.

"Is that why you brought me here ?"

"We didn't brought you here, you came here by yourself."

"No.. I didn't." It was true. I didn't have any attention to come in here. It actually never crossed my mind.

"Not _intentionnaly_." The speedforce corrected. "But you wanted to." The speedforce told me calmly with a slight smile on its face. "Only a few people managed to came here by themselves, you are the first in a multitude." It then walked warmly towards the bed, until it reached Barry. "It was for him that you called us, didn't you? You want him to wake up?"

I nodded. "More than anything."

I closed my eyes for a moment, and the next second, Barry was gone.

"Where is he ?" I asked as a feeling of terror invaded my whole body.

"Barry Allen is presently facing his own demons. The body you saw wasn't his mind. He is the result of what your spirit wanted to see."

"Then where is he ? Can I see him ? Please ?" I asked right away.

"Sadly, you can't." The speedforce said.

"So.. what can I do ?" I asked once again. I was tired of waiting, I needed answer and action.

"You'll figure it out right in time, Mrs Zor-El. But first, we would like to offer you a gift." I was about to protest but as soon as the speedforce spoke, it disappeared, leaving me alone.

Not knowing what I had to do and left with my frustration, with nothing more in my environment than a medical bed floatting above the void, I headed to it.

I felt like something was wrong. The more I was in the speedforce, the more I felt like my thoughts were blurry. I knew that it had effects on my mind and I wasn't thinking clearly.

...Yeah, that's true. Something was missing. Deep down I knew it. For a moment, it scared me. It scared me so much that I almost fell off my chair. I took a moment to clear my mind and get back on it. The speedforce said it had a gift for me. I just had to wait.

...Yeah, that was probably due to the speedforce. I knew that. I knew it because the blue walls were kinda weird. It looked like they had tiny pillows in it, you know ? What kind of person would've padded their walls anyway ?

...The more I was thinking of it the more I knew something was missing. But I don't know why, the more the time passed and the less I was thinking of the Speedf... the speed... anyway. I felt just a bit weird, like something was supposed to happen, but I didn't know what.

... Yeah, those big padded, blue walls, I've always found them funny, I don't know why. Something still felt weird. Maybe was it because of this chandelier that kept blinking? Or was it coming from the noise causing by the electric cables? Where could this feeling come from? I was sure something was different.

And I don't know why, I'm pretty sure Savitar wasn't here a minute ago... unless... anyway.

~•~•~•~

**Barry allen's POV**

Something felt weird. I opened my eyes with my thoughts still blurry. Oh my, I had the strangest dream.

I needed a moment to remember the latest events. Savitar... Kara... The Speedforce... I would've like it better if it was just a dream. I couldn't exactly remember what happened since then. I just knew that I was in the speedforce, and then... I couldn't remember. I felt really tired, however. As if I had read a thousand book at once. God, I was exhausted.

A little sob, however, caught my attention in the fog that dominated my mind. I could see in the corner a silhouette whose shoulders wiggled in pain. It looked like a woman. Yielding to my curiosity, I got closer to it.

As I moved closer, it felt like the sobs were getting stronger. I wanted to help that woman, so I walked faster, until I run to her. Now in front of her, I realised that the crying woman was nobody else than Kara herself, on her knees.

"Why is she crying ?" I asked to myself, a bit distraught.

Her face was twisted into a grimace that could've been mistaken for a smile. She was all puffy and all reddened, her face was ravaged by tears. And the more I looked at her, the more I felt a weight on my heart. She was staring blankly and didn't seem to notice me, but she was relentlessly staring at a fixed point in the void, and sobbing.

I shook her shoulders in hopes of getting her attention, but nothing seemed to work. Suddenly I felt a warm hand on my shoulder.

I turned around and saw a strange man trying to get my attention.

His skin looked strangely like lava. He was tall and was several feet above me. Strangely, his face was so bright that I could hardly look at him in the eye. But from the little that I managed to see, it looked like two even brighter holes were his eyes. I wasn't able to observe the rest. I did not know why, but this complete stranger seemed familiar to me.

"She won't be able to hear you." The stranger said.

"Who are you ?" I asked, shared between my worry for Kara and my eager to know who that mysterious man was.

"Don't you recognize me ? I am Rao." He said. "At least, I am the the way you imagine me." He added at my questionning face.

I was confused. Confused because I didn't know if it was true, or not. Confused because if it was true, I didn't know why he would appear in the speedforce, and why he would appear to me.

My thoughts were still on Kara, anyway. I was going to deal with it later. Maybe.. maybe he would be able to help me.

"Why is she crying ?" I asked for the second time.

"She is crying because she sees everything that her heart desires." He answered.

"I.. I don't understand."

He walked elegantly closer to Kara and raised his hand with a linear gesture. Subsequently, a wave swept away what was surrounding us, creating a whole new environment in its path. I recognized this place. I would recognize these padded walls everywhere, we were in the S.T.A.R Labs underground pipeline, where we contained all the problematic metas.

Kara was no longer on her knees and was sitting on a chair, next to one of the cells. Her face was no longer ravaged in tears and was reather joyful. It warmed my heart to see her like that, until I then realised that I didn't see her that way for a long time now.

"Do you want more ?" I heard Kara ask.

Therefore, I heard a man's voice.

"Please, if you don't mind." He responded.

My gaze fell on the one who claimed to be Rao. He reached out his hand, prompting me to get closer. Kara didn't seem to notice me, so I approached. What I saw, I would have preferred not to see. I saw myself - my futur self. However, I did not have this horrible scar on my face. I wondered if it was Savitar. I tried to wipe out that thought, but I had to yield to it, what would I do in a prison otherwise ?

Rao spoke :

"She is seeing herself in a world where she managed to stop Savitar without any of you two disappearing." He told me wisely.

I swallowed my saliva and looked at Savitar once again "Why does he no longer have a scar anymore ?" I asked.

"Because that's the way Mrs Zor-El see him." He responded. "She never saw a monster like you do. What she saw in Savitar was you ; a friend in need of help. In an ideal world, Mrs Zor-El was able to reach over Savitar and to get his soul back. That, is what her heart desire the most."

"Of course not, I'll give you some more." Kara chirped in a good mood, holding out a bowl through a small window in the glass for Savitar.

I came slowly in front of her, and she didn't bother to look at me. Somehow, it made me sad. "So you really don't see me." I asked, more for me than her.

"This afternoon, we'll finally release you." Kara smiled. "I am so glad the team decided to give you a chance ! After all these year, who would've thought ?" She laughed gently, marked by cheerfulness.

"I know, right ?" Savitar chuckled : "I wanted to thank you." He then said. "I owe you my freedom. You've saved me, Kara, it made the trick. I am all free from the timeline loop and from my demons thanks to you." He said. "And Barry's doing his best, I am thankful for him too. Even though it wasn't truly him... I never thought he would get over the fact that... that his future self killed Iris. Somehow, it's like he..."

"Forgave himself." I finished with him, dragged by the conversation. Was it.. was it what Kara really wanted ? For me to forgive myself ?

Rao came near me and put his warm hand on my shoulder, dragging my attention. With a nod, he made that linear gesture once again, restoring that void in which we were. I could see in the corner of my eye that Kara was back on her knees and sobbing, trapped into that ideal dream.

"Is that.. is that really what Kara desires the most ?" I asked to Rao who was starring blankly at me.

"The speedforce offered her that gift to help her accomplish what she is supposed to do. While not real, what you saw was true."

I wondered... if that was true, why would she want Savitar alive ? He is a monster... I am a monster, in the future. Why would she want him alive, even if that meant that I would be alive too ? Everything I did was to bring her troubles, and I was the person she was seeing in her ideal space ?

"Then why is she crying ?" I asked. If indeed, it was what her heart desired the most, why was she crying ? Why could I see so much pain emanating from her ?

"Because the truth hurts most than hope." Rao answered.

"I don't understand."

"And never you will." He said while putting a warm hand in my back once again.

Something about him felt like home. I couldn't help but thinking.. that he was the true Rao after all. While his words weren't going in my way, I felt reassured when he was talking ; it was clear that all he wanted was my own good, I couldn't explain why, but I could see it. He wasn't there to harm.

He press my back to drive me closer to Kara. In that way, I could appreciate her in her whole.

"See," He started. "when I created Kara, she had to be special... I gave her powers to understand the world ;

I gave her an amazing view to see the world as ugly, but also as beautiful as he is, with the ability to fly to escape it when it falls appart. A fantastic breath, that allows her to feel the very air in her lungs, and a heat vision to burn it when it gets toxic.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet sweet enough for them to be comfortable.

I offered her the hope that keeps spreading around her, and fashioned her ribs to protect her heart.

I gave her the strength to keep going when everone else gives up, alongside the sensivity that allows her to stay compassionate and kind to others.

And finally, I gave her tears to shade when she felt the need.

You see my son, her beauty is not in the fights she leads, the figure that she carries or in the crest that she wears ; Kara's beauty must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

I listened carefully to his words, and smiled proudly at her. I understood, in a way.

Maybe she was crying because deep down, she knew that it wasn't real. She wanted it - so badly, that it hurt. There were probably tears in my eyes too, because I felt the tingling sensation.

I understood Rao's message. I understood that just like Kara, I was in a world where I could see everything that my heart desires ; a world where I had to know Kara a little more. And by that mean, he showed me the truth in its ugly integrity ; Kara was just like me. A being eaten away by its vain desires and hopes, trying to make its way through the world.

"You're not the real Rao, aren't you ?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"I am what you heart desired the most to see."

"I understand." I said.

"Would've you listened if it was someone else ?" He asked.

"I guess not." I said. "But I understand your message, and I thank you."

"You've understood it more than you think." He started. I raised my head to him as I saw him get brighter. "Keep focusing on what you saw, and then focus on what your faith truly means."

I turned around, and Rao was gone.

~•~•~•~

**This is it for chapter 6 ! Please, tell me what you thought of it. I must say that the speedforce thing was kinda hard to write but I've liked it. There is a big inspiration from a poem, if you find or know it, you might be my new best friend. I always found it so powerful, and it just incorporated so well to that story that I couldn't resist. Anyway, I don't know when will the next chapter will be post, so no promesses. Please guys, leave me your opinion to encourage me for what's left of this story !**


	7. Chapter7

**Hey people ! This is it, new chapter coming ! Again, I must apologize for the lack of update, but you must know by the time that I am a slow writer ahah. So here's chapter 7, I hope you'll like it and I am sorry to say that this story will come to an end in the next chapter. It was truly amazing to practice my English on this story, and in the future I think I'll do it again, but only in one-shot form. They are less stressful for me to catch up on, and I let less people starving while doing so ahah. I hope I'll stick to it though, because this story was supposed to be a one-shot too ahah.**

**Anyway, here's the new chapter. Enjoy !**

**The Fanatical : chapter 7**

**Third POV**

The embodiment of the Speedforce was near Kara's kneeling figure. It noticed the tears running down her cheeks and smiled for itself. Its gift had been accepted.

It raised its hand with an elegant gesture.

"It is time for you to wake up, Mrs Zor-El."

At the sound of its voice, Kara seemed to regain her senses and stood up abruptly. She scanned her environment looking for the woman she met before. She was not disoriented and knew very well where she was.

"Why did you do this to me ?" She asked, a bit of bitterness emanating from her voice.

"We wanted to offer you a gift." It responded.

"How the hell do you think that this was a gift ? Showing me everything I could dream of, and then take it away from me within a second ?" She asked, her tone rising.

"Because now, you know what your heart wants." The speedforce said calmly, not answering to her bitterness.

Kara was about to talk, but remained quiet. She had nothing to answer to that. Finally, Kara's eyes fell on a silhouette near the speedforce.

She looked down as she approached and could see Barry on his knees, eyes closed. She saw him the same way he had seen her a short time before. Only this time, things were different. Barry was not in an ideal world, he was stuck in the search for a new future.

"You asked to see Mr Allen when you came here. It is done." The speedforce said robotically.

Kara's mouth remained ajar. When she saw him, he looked like he was experiencing a great pain. The features of his face were drawn and his face twisted into a frightened grimace. His left cheek was a most mysterious element. Savitar's scar seemed to materialize on it for a second, and then disappear the next. The scar was dancing on his face as if it was meant to tease her.

She knelt down and caressed his face.

"What... what have you done to him ?" She asked with a borning rage growing in her heart.

"We didn't do anything." The speedforce said. "What you have in front of you is Mr Allen's mind, trying to get through a new timeline. But he is struggling, as you can see on his face."

"But he's in pain..." Kara whispered. "Is there nothing you can do to help him ?" The kryptonian begged.

"We are already using his energy to get through the new timeline. If we made it to that point, it means that the situation is critical, so no. Mr Allen becoming Savitar was a fix point in the timeline, it is extremely hard to change his destiny."

"I understand." Kara answered sadly.

"He might die." The speedforce added. "If he doesn't find a way out, it could push him to exhaust all of his vital energy."

"How could you let that happen !?." Kara answered angrily.

"Do you think we have the choice ? What's happening to Mr Allen upsets up just as much as you, if no more."

After an hesistant pause, she left her rage aside.

"I understand." She said.

Kara thought back to everything that had happened to her in the space of a week. She had discovered that her friend had become a fanatic of her, before learning that he was only the victim of a vicious time circle. She couldn't help but think that maybe it was her fault. If she never existed ... If Barry never met her... he would be happy today. Barry wouldn't have any reason to become Savitar, and Iris would still be alive. He would live perfectly happy, away from her.

Then she thought back to the ideal world that the speedforce had shown her. If that was all her heart wanted there, then what could it mean ? She heard Savitar's voice, too. He kept telling her that she was in love with Barry. At first she thought it was just a way for him to make fun of her, but on second thought, Kara knew Savitar was right, maybe she cared about him more than she was supposed to.

Was it the reason why she let him becoming Savitar in the future ? Why she closed her eyes at his growing madness ?

She also thought about the reason of her presence here. The speedforce said she came here by herself... Maybe... maybe she _did_ came here on purpose. Maybe she had her role to play. If all of this was because of her... then it only stands to reason that it was up to her to fix it.

"What if..." Kara stopped her thoughts and stood up to face the speedforce. "What if I gave my own vital forces to get Barry a new future ? Could it work ? Could it save him ?"

"We fear that Mr Allen's future is not up to you Mrs Zor-El." The speedforce said with empathy.

"But could it work ?" Kara hurried.

"Well... technically yes. A kryptonian owns a great vital force. But it could be dangerous for you."

"I don't care if it's dangerous." Kara answered as she lowered her head to Barry's. "As long as he survives."

The speedforce smiled gently while looking at her. "A great woman." It thought. Just a few people would be ready to make that sacrifice.

"Alright then." The speedforce yield. "But we have to ask, are you sure this is what you want ? Your gift could save Barry Allen, it is true. But we ignore what it could do to you, or even if you could make it out alive."

Kara nodded and affirmed silently. "Can I... can I see him one last time ?"

The speedforce smiled gently. "Of course."

Kara stared at the woman and thanked her quietly. The woman didn't made any move, Kara wondered why she didn't made that linear gesture like she used to do when she controlled the Speedforce, but didn't have the time to think futrher as a voice cut her thoughts :

"Kara ? You're awake ?" Barry was standing in front of her, stood up and awake.

A small burst of joy escaped from Kara's throat as she ran towards him to drag him into a hug. A salty tear ran down her cheek as she squeezed him tighter under his incomprehensive gaze. He didn't understand what was going on, but couldn't help but respond to Kara's gentle embrace, savoring the scent of her hair.

"Kara.. what is going on ?" He asked gently, putting an end to their embrace.

She replaced her hand on his cheek with glowing eyes, wanting more of his living space as if she was holding to her last breath of oxygen.

"It is bad." She said with a solemn tone.

"How bad ?" He asked with a serious but worried tone as well.

She didn't want to stupidly freak him out, or scare him away. Truth be told, all Kara wanted was a break, far from the madness of her last days.

She exhaled at length as if to evacuate all the stress. "These last days, the rush of events kinda reminded me of Krypton, you know." She said gently.

"To be honest, I don't understand what the destruction of your native planet has to do with a man who doesn't know what to do with his future." He giggled nicely, subtily taking her hand in his to enjoy her very presence.

"You're probably right." She said while reafirming her grip on his hand. "Yet, that's all I was able to think of recently.." She broke their embrace and stood up as the both precedently fell on the ground when they found each other back. She ported her hand to her heart and seemed to find herself in a bittersweet past.

"Kara, are you ok ?" He asked as he stood up to reach her.

"I remember... I was sitting in Eliza's rocking-chair on the backyard... thinking of everything that happended. It had been three days since I landed on Earth, and yet I didn't spread a single tear... Not even complained once... I had been the brave girl my mother wanted me to be. I was brave - I was really brave." She said with an ounce of remorse, trying to convince Barry as much as herself.

"It is never easy for a child to lose a parent. I can't imagine the strength it takes to mourn your entire family and planet at such a young age. You amaze me by your strength." He said to comfort her while placing a warm hand on her elbow.

"You're wrong." She said in a non-violent way. "Because sitting there on that rocking-chair reminded me of that damn ship. I could close my eyes and see my planet exploding from the window... and this is when it all came to me... All that pain, all that sorrow, all that fucking shame and guilt from being the only one to survive finally came right back on me. And I could feel it, so deeply that I finally started to cry. After three days of emptiness, I finally started to feel things. So I cried, I cried hard and it felt like dying. And while I was crying, I felt cold tingling on my skin ... it was rain. And that surprised me because... because w-we never had rain on Krypton, you know ? Our rivers had dried up way before I was born and the only water we had was artificial. I didn't even know that water could fall from the sky... but it didn't mattered. So I cried louder, and louder still. And the more I cried, the more the rain intensified. I was drenched but it didn't matter to me, as long as I finally felt emotions, as bad as they were. Then Eliza ran under the rain to get me into the house. When she noticed that I was crying... after all these day of being cold... she didn't try to stop me. She stayed close to me and hugged me in the pouring rain for me to calm down... until the very end. And I just kept thinking... that it was me. It was me... that day." She said while chuckling nicely. "All that darkness, that numbness I had in me just somehow spread up into the sky to fell right back on me." She added with a dreamy tone, her eyes as glowing as a dreamy child. "When my planed died, I made water fall from the sky !" She sighed with an satisfied smile. "I know, this sounds crazy... but it didn't by the time." She wiped out the idea.

"From the girl who can litteraly shoot lazers with her eyes ? I wouldn't say crazy." Barry chuckled nicely, still amazed by her. "But Kara tell me... just... why do you sound like someone who's about to die ?"

Kara didn't say a word, letting the silence speak for herself.

"No... please no. Don't tell me..." Barry's face fell apart. "Is it related in me changing the timeline ? Will you disappear because of me ?" He asked.

"No Barry... no. It is something I choose." She said calmly. "You didn't get the whole point of the story... The whole point is... that I couldn't control rain. These were only the delusional dreams of a scared young girl trying to escape chaos. Too fearful to face reality. I wasn't bold enough to face the present and make a difference to feel good in this new world, like making friends, or trying to open up to Eliza and Alex. Instead I was.. dreaming. But here's the thing. I don't want to escape anymore... I don't want to wait and _hope _that you will find yourself a new futur without dying in the process. I want to be _bold_. This is why ... I'm going to give my own vital force to find you a new futur." She said while starring at his eyes.

"Out of question." He refused with a nervous chuckle, not even considering a second thought. "You won't sacrifice yourself for me."

"Please" she called him nicely as she trained Barry's forehead to hers. "Barry... please. I'm tired of feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I wouldn't be able to live in a world where you're gone knowing that I could've saved you. I just can't." She put a hand on his cheek to wipe one of his tears. "Please... let me be selfish this time."

He took her hand in his and closed his eyes to focus on its heat. For a moment, he was drowned under that horrific idea. He took a deep breath to seek courage and opened his eyes. The blue of her eyes... so deep, so full of life. How could he let her possibly die for him ?

"No.. I won't let you do that." He said.

Barry wiped her hand off his and started to walk away from her.

"Then you don't leave me the choice." She said with bitterness, wiping one of her own tears.

Barry stopped at a feeling of tingling in his body. He raised his hand and could see that his body started to vanish into particles. She was facing his back when he realized what she was doing.

"...Are you trying to kick me out of the speedforce ?"

"..Yeah." Kara said, not even trying to protest.

He came back to her and beg her.

"Please Kara, don't. Don't make that mistake, I'm begging you just.. please." He cried while shouting to her. "I don't deserve this, please ! Don't kick me out of here, I'll find a way to get through a new timeline by my own !"

Kara raised her hand and made a linear gesture as a small tear went down her cheek. Soon enough, Barry woke up in the S.T.A.R Labs, thus prevented from thwarting Kara.

"I am sorry, Barry." She said. A slight moment of silence was soon enough broke by Kara's voice once again. "And I hope you're enjoying the show." She said while walking angrily away from where Barry last stood.

Behind Kara was the Speedforce.

"Impressive." It declared. "You figured out how to manipulate the speedforce in a very little amount of time. You would've made a great speedster." The woman said motherly.

"Thank you for the compliment, but I just want all of this to end right now. Are you sure all of this isn't for nothing ?" She asked, clearly still in pain for what she just did.

"Yes, we are."

Kara nodded. The speedforce saw her stoic face and felt guilty. It couldn't help but feel worried about her. All it wanted was for Kara to be sure about her choice. And maybe... the best way to make sure of it was to be honest. The woman approached slowly and whispered :

"Mrs Zor-El, we weren't completly honest..."

"I know." Kara said.

"There is only one way this can end..." It implied.

"I know."

"It's death."

"I know." Kara said.

The speedforce nodded. A quiet silence reigned for a moment into the void.

"Will it hurt ?" Kara asked, her eyes lost where Barry last stood.

The speedforce struggled to answer.

"Physycally ? No. Emotionally ? A lot."

"It's okay." She just said.

"A great woman." The speedforce whispered to itself once again. "A great woman." It thought again.

The Woman let down the face of Nora Allen to wear the one of Alura Zor-El. It was the last gift the Speedforce ever gave to Kara.

The elegant face of Alura Zor-El made a content smile to Kara, and raised its hand to guide Kara.

"Take place." It said. And her tone seemed so proud that Kara wondered for a second if it wasn't the ghost of her real mother.

_~•~•~•~•~•_

_**Barry's POV**_

I ran, as fast as I could. Kara had blocked my access to the speedforce, but she wasn't a speedster. I'd eventually get past to it. So I ran, trying to break her barriers. Faster, and faster. Feeling the wind blowing against my skin, whipping it, ripping it appart. It's been a few minutes since I got out of the speedforce but I already felt stronger, and I knew that it was related to Kara. Time doesn't flow the same way there, I was hoping it wouldn't be too late for her. In no way I would let that happen.

These recents days, ever since Kara found out what I was doing, I had spend all but sleepless nights. What was she thinking of me ? Did she hate me ? After all these lies, all these times I made a fool of myself, I was somehow glad that she was ready to... to die, for me. I wouldn't let that happen, but it meant that somehow, she still considered me as a friend. And it was an amazing feeling of relieve.

I ended up passing through her barriers, and landed on the Speedforce. I was terrified of what I could find there.

And eventually, I saw her. Not knelt down like I was when I was using my vital force to get through a new timeline. She was laid down, almost unconscious.

I ran to her and I remember that the feeling of panic was one of the worst I have ever experienced. I didn't want to lose her. I just couldn't, and I don't think I'll ever could...

"Kara, hey ! Stay with me !" I yelled at her while tapping her shoulders.

"Hey.." She exhaled to me with a slight smile. Gosh, I wasn't ready for her to die in my arms.

And I couldn't help but to cry.

"Why did you do that ?" I beg to her, not even expecting an answer.

"You know why." She eventually answered weakly, but strongly.

"I don't deserve it." I implored her. I didn't care if I sound cheesy. I was devastated and I felt like this pain wasn't gonna go away.

"Yes you do, more than anyone." She said with her dying breath. "Everything that happened to you was my fault, I owe it to you, and please don't fight it. I don't regret anything, I need you to know that. I forgive you, for everything."

I closed my eyes and took her almost inert hand in mine, giving a kiss to it. I didn't want her to feel alone in her last moment. "Thank you Kara, for everything."

"I only regret that you didn't get to know me better... I just don't want you to think of me as a god, okay ? I am so much more vulnerable than that. In every way." She said.

"I know..." My voice broke. I wasn't ready to let her go. Why did she do that ?

"Do you now ?" She coughed hardly. I felt like she was losing her grip.

"Hey Kara ! Stay with me alright ? You're gonna be just fine." I said. These words sounded wrong even for me. "Kara listen, you can't go now, okay ? I lo.. I can't live without you !"

She chuckled. Maybe because she realized how cheesy I was. And I know that she knew what I wanted to tell.

Her breath started to get reduced. I was losing her.

"Hey Kara ! Stay up !" I shouted. "How many fingers am I holding up ?"

She watched at my hand for a moment, and against all odds, smiled. "Enough."

And that was it.

She was done fighting.

**_**

**Okay guys, this is it for chapter 7 ! How was it ? I truly hope you like it. It wasn't my best one yet, I kinda got lost between all the ideas I had in my head and it was definitely not easy to write fine for it to work with what I have for the next chapter. **

**Anyways, thank you for reading and once again, please let me know if you liked it or not, and if you have any advice I always am open for it - thanks ! :)**


	8. FinalChapter

**Hello guys. This is the final chapter of the Fanatical. And wow, it's been a journey. I know I'm a slow writer, this story almost took a year to be finished, but I'm glad I did it. As you may know, I'm french, so it was a challenge to write this story and to avoid translating apps as much as possible. Not to mention that I did all of this on my phone sooo... yeah ahah, not that easy since it's also**** my first real story. So yeah. I'm glad of what I did with it. **

**I hope you'll enjoy this final chapter as much as I did ! So please, let me know what you think about it !**

**The Fanatical : Final Chapter**

He approached the bed he had been leaning on so much. At first, this dreadful vision used to make him nauseated. She was there, so weak. So fragile. Everytime, it felt like a stone in his stomach.

But over time, this feeling diminished. He went to visit her often, every day even, pretending that everything was fine.

How many times had he wanted to cry out to her to wake up? He did not know.

He had never been able to tell her how he really felt inside. All these times, she was the one leading the dance. He could never tell her the whole story. Out of fear of what she would think of it, probably out of shame too. So that's what he tried to do. Everyday, without respite. He knew she couldn't hear him. And so what ? What was left for him ? When everything was lost?

Hier body was there, yes. But her mind was gone. He was speaking to an empty shell, whose soul dried up in nothingness. For him.

And the others, what could they think of him? Did they find him selfish? Did they blame him? He didn't know.

Alex and Eliza came every day. Tirelessly. It was complicated at first, but they had developed a routine. Every day, at 5:00 pm, they would cross the multiverse to reach the bedside of their loved one.

But Alex hadn't been here that today. Yet, she had come to terms with the fact that Kara was no longer there and she rarely missed opportunities to see her.

"Hey Kara." Barry approached the bed tenderly, replacing one of the strands of hair on Kara's forehead. "How are you today ?" He tried.

He chuckled softly at the lack of response. "Of course." He murmured. He knew he would have no answers.

"Today is a special day." He continued in a sad tone. "In less than two hours, it will be a year since you sacrificed yourself for me in the speedforce." He squeezed his hand unconsciously. "Alex and Eliza are not coming today, it's too much they can bear." He apologized tenderly, drawing a small circle on her hand out of nervousness. "But I know they wish." He added. "You know, Alex doesn't show it, but I know she's in pain. Not because she'll never see you open your eyes again, but because she knows you'd rather like your heart to stop so that you may you join your mother in Rao's light, as you wanted so much. "

At these words, Kara's body exhaled a long sigh. Barry raised his hands to his chest in defense.

"No offense. I'm no longer a fanatic." He laughed gently. "But I know that's what you want, too." He resumed with a benevolent tone.

He sighed at the lack of response. He let go of his hand not without difficulty and reinstalled himself more comfortably in his chair, positioning his two hands behind his head, thoughtful.

"365 days ..." He whispered, looking at her. "You know, I thought a lot about what Rao showed me in the speedforce. It even haunted me for several nights. I spent all but sleepless nights because of what he said - to focus on what my faith really meant. "

He relaxed, breathing heavily, resting his elbows on his knees while rubbing his eyes.

"Faith ... faith means a lot of things. Faith is hope. Faith is comfort. Faith is giving up logic, giving up on thoughts. Faith is denying your fears. The fear of not knowing where we are going in this world, and why. And in my case, fear of loving you. " He whispered slowly, as if she could hear every single word. "I love you, Kara. I never said it. To tell the truth, I never knew how to admit it. For me, it was inconceivable to love another woman than Iris after she died. I was supposed to mourn her death, and yet I was only thinking of you. At the end of all thing, I was thinking of you.

So I denied everything. I found this stupid excuse of divinity, comforting myself so much in this lie that I became a monster ... "He caught himself squeezing the hand that he didn't even know he had picked up back. "And here we are..." He whispered, reminding her of her condition.

"You know, I often wonder why you would burn my face in that future. Was it because I finally realized my feelings and confessed them to you ? Would you do the same today, if you could hear me now?" He asked.

And he waited several seconds, for an answer that never came. And after that, he just collapsed.

The lack of answers killed him. To see her there, close to him but at the same time so far killed him. He had never cried since her soul was gone. Not even once. He had always tried to keep a good mood, and by force, he ended up believing his own lie. But today it would have been a year since he last heard her voice.

"Kara ..." He said slowly. "I don't know if you can hear me right now. I don't know if I speak to you everyday into the void. A tear formed in the corner of his eye. "I'm sorry if I'm not all happy as I use to today." He chuckled. "But I saw your mind die a year ago, and yet, your body's still there. Fighting." He got up from his chair to position himself on her bed, as close as possible to her, then began to caress her cheek.

"It's okay if you give up, Kara."

He cracked.

"And you were wrong that day in the speedforce. I don't need to know you better, I already know you. Better than anyone" He sobbed. "For example, I know you have this nervous little grin on your eyebrows when you're stressed. You do your best to hide it, but it always comes back." He giggled with tears in his eyes.

"You love birds more than any animal on Earth, because there were none on Krypton. This is why there is so much painting of birds at your place. Because it reminds you that despite all the pain that happened to you, it allowed you to discover the wonders of our world, and how strong you are to have survived it. "

Soon, the few tears in his eyes turned into an uncontrollable sob.

"And above all, I also know that you are afraid when you are all alone in the dark..." His voice cracked. "because it reminds you of those dreadful years in your pod." He wiped away a tear to grab both her hands. "You are not alone ... I am here with you. And I am not going anywhere. I will accompany you until the end." He murmured in a trembling voice, trying to reassure what he knew was the heap of flesh and blood he had in front of him.

"You can go now." He repeated. "I'm ready to live a life without you." He whispered, tenderly placing his forehead against hers.

And as if she had heard it, what was left of her began to convulse. The first movement that her body has ever done after she joined the Speedforce.

The monitors panicked, Barry was trembling at the spectacle that was playing in front of him.

He had to warn her. Her more than anyone. It was her place, not his. _Alex._

**PROLOGUE**

A beach rocked by the sunset. The sky sported orange hues reflected by the ocean. The drizzle, the wind, the breath of the sea... the waves. The peace.

A few feet away from the water's edge was a table, where women and men stood. Joking, talking to each other, enjoying the calm they so deserved.

It's been a year since Kara decided to give all of her strengths to Barry. Somehow, the boy's heart will never fully recover from it, but he kept faith anyway. Not in Rao, or in Supergirl, but in Kara. Deep down he hoped, he_ knew_ that he will get over it. He will thrive from it.

And among the laughter, the crisp conversations and the joy, he took a moment to admire his friends. It's all thanks to her.

A throat clearing was heard at the end of the table, prompting everyone else to quiet :

"I would like to wear a toast," Joe said, raising his glass.

He watched them all suddenly captured by him and what he was about to say. They didn't need to ask, they already knew who he wanted to wear that toast for. Joe smiled :

"To the strongest girl I have ever known. To the eternal optimist. To the one whom I owe my son's life..." Joe started with glowing eyes. "but also my daughter's." He continued while grabbing Iris's hand. "To Kara !"

Knocking glass noises began to be heard, but before they could continue, Caitlin stood up and spoke :

"I raise my glass to a real heroine. To the one who allowed us all to meet here this evening. Old friends... and new ones." Caitlin made a wink at Alex sitting at the other part of the table. "For bringing us together, for our family. To the one I'd never thank enough for all of this."

"To the alien ass's kicker." Cisco added. "To the girl I've learned so much from. The most badass and powerful girl this wold ever carried, but the sweetest, also. To the one who brought my best friend back." Cisco cheered up.

Alex followed :

"To my sister in heart. To the one who has always been there for me and whom I love more than anything in the world. To the one thanks to whom I was able to meet you, even if I would have liked it to be in other circumstances." She smiled lightly. "For the girl that wouldn't break for anything, the girl of steel !" She raised her drink.

Finally, Barry spoke. More for him than for them. After a hesitant pause, looking deep down to find the right words. Sporting a melancholy, but happy smile, he chuckled :

"I am not always happy, sometimes I think that the world is unfair and that beautiful things are rare. But Kara, she has always been the reason I remember I still have hope when I don't." He smiled and his eyes seemed to regain their luminous glow as he raised his glass. "To her. For everything she taught me. To all her imperfections, her weaknesses, her insecurities, but also and above all to her strength, her kindness and her bravery." He smiled, raising his glass even higher if possible. "To Kara !" He shouted.

"To Kara !" They all shouted in unison.

~~~

Under the noise of the people cheering to each other and clinking their glasses, iris moved closer to Barry who she recognized wasn't as happy as he looked.

"Hey Barry." Iris said softly.

"Hey Iris..." He greeted her with a slight smile on his face.

She took a moment to appreciate the sea wind caressing her face and its salty smell. They were both looking at the waves.

"I'm really happy that you're back, you know." Barry whispered. "I truly am."

"I know" Iris said, not bothering to question his words, preferring to appreciate the calm of the beach. "You know, being dead for a moment, then resurrecting another, it helps you to put your life into perspective." She said as her voice mingled with the wind.

"I have no doubt about it." Barry nodded. "Without Kara, you would not be among us. And right now, I would surely attend a meeting in a sordid place for an unhinged sect. And I would end up killing you, in the future." He exhaled at length, placing his knees against his chest. "So yes, putting things in perspective is not that bad." He chuckled sadly.

There was silence between the two. It was not heavy, nor annoying. It was relaxing. Everything the two had to say was expressed in this silence. By the sound of the waves, the wind, the sea.

"You fell in love with her, didn't you?" Iris said more than she asked. Her voice was not bitter.

Barry nodded slightly.

"Then go see her." Iris said, finally making eye contact with Barry. He didn't know what to answer, so she placed a friendly hand on one of his knee and gave him a confident smile: "I'll be fine."

Barry made the first smile she knew was sincere since she came back a year ago.

He sighed slowly, stretching to his full height before heading to a sand dune on which he sat down. A silhouette stands out against the setting sun. Barry grabbed her hand.

He looked at her.

"Come, we're waiting for you."

Her eyes are full of tears.

"I don't deserve all of this Barry, I do not deserve these compliments."

He stroked his cheek to wipe away the tears that flowed.

"You can't stop people from loving you, Kara." He said with a soft smile. "You're a good person, a woman of heart, we can only love you." He said.

"I don't plan to I.." She hesitated. "I just don't want to make a big deal of it."

"Sure." Barry nodded.

So he sat down next to her, contemplating the calm they both deserved so much. What a journey they went through.

All eyes were on them, far away. They were all waiting for Kara to celebrate, but then they saw the two sitting together in the sand. They weren't going to bother them. The both talked about everything, and nothing. They were making up for lost time, Barry telling her a lot of anecdotes since her departure.They were laughing. They bickered a bit too. It looked like the good old days.

And as the minutes passed, the two found themselves lying in the sand.

"You know," She started with a dreamy tone. "all those times when I wanted to find you a new future, far from these fanatic desires, I always failed because the trigger had to come from you. I am happy that everything has returned to normal and that Iris has returned, now that Savitar never killed her, but I'm still wondering what it was for you. The trigger, I mean." She asked, dreamy.

Barry placed both hands behind his head to use it as a pillow and said mockingly:

"I guess it's because I realized I didn't need you anymore." He teased. "Ouch." He complained after Kara hit him on the shoulder. "I guess you are recovering your powers faster than expected." He said, rubbing at the point of the impact.

"Nah, still human for now, all that stuff really drained my energy." She brushed the idea aside. "It's just you who's acting like a little girl." She sneered.

"Oh am I now ?" He dared her.

"Yeah kinda." She chuckled and put her head on his shoulder. Barry didn't bother to answer and just appreciated her presence.

Suddenly he stood up and held out his hand :

"Come on now, let's go see the others."

"Just a second ..." She took a deep breath to control the dizzy spells from her fatigue, then ran her free hand through his.

She followed Barry, who had not let go of her hand, and soon found herself in front of the small assembly.

"I ... I'm not sure what to say ..." she blushed. "I am not good at thanks."

"So don't say anything, Kara." Caitlin smiled at her. "Come join us." She said to her, pointing to a bottle of beer.

"Yes Kara, come and enjoy this magnificent sunset with us." Alex prompted. "They are so rare these days."

They all surrounded her. They all wanted to show her a proof of their friendship.

She ended up toasting with each of them.

All of a sudden, she felt lifted off the ground.

"What the.." She wondered.

Another pair of arms took her on.

"No, you're not going to do this." She shouted. "Cisco, Barry, Alex, get off me !" She begged as she was brought near the water.

"Yes we will Kara, yes we will!" Alex joked.

Before she could react, she found her head immersed in the water.

At the water's edge, all the rest of the team and family just laughed and cheered, especially Eliza.

"Cowards, you take advantage of my condition to abuse me !" She laughed.

Alex bursted into laugh. "Oh, you have no idea how much I wanted to do this all my childhood." She said before putting her head back in the water.

Kara laughed and had fun, she was happy to share this moment with Barry and the others. She was still weak and tired, but she appreciated and knew that she would cherish this moment.

The evening soon came to an end. They all left the water and gradually returned to their homes, until only Kara and Barry remained.

As Kara rested her head against him, she whispered gently, "Barry, can we go home?"

He put her head against his for a few seconds before murmuring in turn: "Of course." He said, taking her in his arm.

"I'll bring you back to S.T.A.R Labs." She almost forgot... "Unless you'd rather sleep on my couch ? Iris sleeps at Joe's now, and It's really comfortable.." He assured her with a smile, and he already knew the answer.

"I would like that." She confided with a resplendent smile.

~~~

"I'll make you a bed." Barry whispered to her as he placed her on the couch.

He left Kara for a moment, taking his time to choose a warm blanket. When he came back, Kara slept in a tight spot.

He smiled around her, then kissed her forehead and looked at her for a moment. He was happy to see her with eyes closed knowing that she would open them without any problem the next morning.

He was glad that she hadn't looked any further when she asked him what had been the trigger that pushed him to find his destiny. He wouldn't dare to tell her that the reason she had been in a coma for a year actually was because he was ready to let her go.

Yes, that meant that he was finally giving up on Kara being his God. That was it, his new future, right ? An autonomous future, where he would live without any divinity to guide him. Where he would stop escaping and own his own insecurities.

He reinforced himself with this idea.

"Good night, Kara." He yawned, enjoying the vision one last time before heading to bed.

And as soon as the door slam was heard, a small chuckle echoed in the living room.

"I love you too, Barry." Kara murmured tenderly.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe Kara did hear his words during her coma.

And maybe the reason Kara was saved was not because he was ready to live a future without her, but because he was ready to build one with her.

Who knows ?

**The end. **

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**So fellaaaas, how was it ??? Did you like the end ? I wanted a cheesy end, because this story has just been drama over drama ahah. **

**I hope this was the end you hoped, because I really struggled with what I wanted it to be. **

**This is also probably my last long-fiction ever. Don't worry, I'll sure make one-shot though. They are less time consumers and give me more possibilities. They're also less of stress for me to keep on since no one expect them ahah. I am more at ease with it. I don't say I'd never give a try on a long-story anymore, just not now.**

**Anyway, please, let me know what did you think of it guys, it truly means the world for me and allow me to get better.**

**See you next time !**


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